Kizu
by Murasaki K
Summary: This is a story of Morikawa Kagome Hime, and later known as Samurai Higurashi Kagome. The setting is on the early Sengoku Jidai, almost at the end of Muromachi period. After suffering many losses in her life Kagome decided to follow the path as a samurai,
1. Default Chapter

_**KIZU**_

Chapter one: Filial Affection

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

"Kagome Hime, please, your father asked to see you."

"No." Her eyes were still red from the crying. They had killed her, but she had died long before she had been murdered. Kagome could almost still smell the reek of the opium pipe in the room; the same poison that she had inhaled night after night; the addiction that had been caused by her unhappiness; the unhappiness that had been caused by harassment, humiliation and helplessness. They all had killed her by hating her, and even her father, by loving her.

"Kaa-san," she ran her fingers through the silkiness of her mother's hair, caressed the peachy flesh of her cheek; even in her death she looked youthful.

Kagome had not yet closed her eyes. She didn't want to. In her inside she still prayed for any signs of life in her. Even after ten hours she managed to convince herself that it had been indeed only ten minutes ago when her breathing had stopped, and her heart, her mother's heart in the cocoon of her warm breasts that were now ice cold, had stood still for only ten minutes; it was only but a moment ago.

She clutched desperately her mother's hand, tucked it in under her kimono to warm both of her hands; this she had done for about hundred times in the wretched ten hours. No, she convinced herself that she had done it only two times before; it was merely ten minutes ago.

Her child's tender skin flinched from the coldness of the hands; she brought the two hands on her lips, breathing warm breath in them, and rubbed them with her own tiny hands. She whispered again and again a simple child's plea 'Kaa-san'.

She then saw her bare feet, and the feeling of panic started to creep in; how could she forget to warm the most vital parts of her body? She touched her mother's feet and suddenly jerked back in surprise over their coldness, colder than any biting winter wind. She opened her kimono front and tucked the cold feet under her clothing. At first she wanted to scream from the shock, feeling the unbearable iciness of her feet against the soft warm skin of her stomach, but she bit her lips and contained her pain.

Her hands… she started; now she couldn't warm them anymore. She tried to reach for them but the length of her mother's body wouldn't allow her to bend over and reach for her hands, but her hands…

She looked around. Certainly… certainly someone could help her, but they all sat back, gaping at her in horror. 'The child has gone mad,' they all thought. Seeing their reaction, a wave of cold rage washed over Kagome, and her body shook with fury, but then again she caught the sight of her hands. They were still cold. So she gulped down her anger and pleaded to them with helpless eyes. "Please, if you would only help me to warm her hands, so that they would not turn cold, please…"

Right at that moment Kagome heard a snicker behind the closed slide-door, a teenage snicker, and she knew to whom it was belonged, she could then hear a soft half hearted admonishing sound behind the door. "Kikyou Hime, you will behave yourself."

And all the ladies in the room sat up straight, they bent their body slightly when the pair entered the room.

The teenage hime cast an insulting glance to Kagome and then to the corpse of her mother. Kikyou's mother, Lady Sorano gave Kagome a false sympathetic look and reached out to pat Kagome's head, but Kagome jerked back fiercely and threw her stepmother and her stepsister a furious haunted look.

Lady Sorano narrowed her eyes at Kagome contemptuously and raised her hand to strike her; she paused in her act and glanced down at the corpse of Kohana, Kagome's mother. She smiled wickedly and lowered her body towards it.

It all happened too fast; Kagome didn't have the chance to stop her. Kohana's dainty feet against her stomach had hindered her movement; she could only watched in shock as Lady Sorano reached out her hand to close her mother's eyes.

The awaiting ladies in the room sighed in relief; they almost smiled at the action, but caught themselves as they remembered that it was indeed the time of mourning.

Kikyou Hime covered her nose with her dainty hand and hissed, "When are we going to get rid of the cadaver? The palace would soon reek of opium and the foul stench of that farmer's whore."

Kagome breathed hard; rage was consuming her, and the helplessness of it all only fueled her fury. The murders of her mother were in her mother's room and dishonored her death. She looked to the right to find the small black opium ball, ready to mold into the pipe. She wondered how it would taste when she swallowed it; surely it would kill her instantly.

Kagome took her mother's feet out of her kimono; she straightened her kimono and bent over her mother to reach for the raw opium. She molded it between her fingers as she turned vengeful eyes towards Lady Sorano. "Death comes in many ways, sometimes it's just redemption from the suffering." Kagome gazed at her mother's feet with moist eyes and caressed them tenderly. "I would certainly anticipate the thought of seeing you again, Kaa-san." She lifted her gaze to meet Lady Sorano's alarmed eyes and whispered in a heavy dangerous tone, alien to her own child's voice. "But not before I put you to your place, criminals. I curse you; I curse all of you in this room. May you all suffered what my mother-"

But someone behind her pressed a finger to the side of her neck, and suddenly she saw only blackness. Succumbing into the deep sublimation, she didn't sense him, nor did she feel the hand that took away the opium ball from her hand.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome found herself in her room; someone was stroking her hair tenderly. She held her eyes close and whispered, "Kaa-san?"

"Child…" an aged voice answered her; it was full of sadness and loss; it belonged to her nanny.

"Kaede Baa-chan," Kagome's hands reached out to hug her and the old nursemaid pulled her fiercely into her embrace. "Cry, child; let it out… Baa-chan is here; I will take your sorrow in me and feed it someday to the oni."

"No, I won't cry anymore. They would never see me cry, Kaede Baa-chan. Those murders… one day I would avenge my mother's death; I swear." Kagome pledged solemnly as she buried her face against the warm chest of the old nanny.

"Kaede Baa-chan, where is her body now?"

Kaede closed her eyes and answered her with trembling voice, "Lady Kohana's body was cleansed ritually, and now they're preparing for the cremation."

"NO! Not yet! This is too soon! Why didn't they wait?" Kagome wrenched herself out of her embrace. She searched Kaede's face for answers, but then she already knew the answer. It was because of her mother's heritage; a lower commoner didn't deserve a proper burial, even though she was the favorite concubine of the daimyo.

Kagome rushed to the hall where the ritual cremation was being held. When she got there, she could already smell the smoke of the burning flesh. Ten monks on the side were chanting their sutra vigorously. She stood there numbed, watching the procession of the cremation of her mother's body.

Kohana, or little flower, had been indeed too delicate for this world. She would have escaped her fate of doom and had lived contented and protected, had she not born beautiful.

Protection… It had been something that his father had offered her mother a long time ago, but he had not fulfilled it. Kagome knew that it hadn't been his fault, that the fact he had favored her mother the most had wounded the pride of the concubines of the higher rank. His first wife had been burned by jealousy that she had committed hara kiri, but the second wife, Lady Sorano, had been set out to destroy Kohana out of fear of her position.

But still he had failed, and she gazed at her father with contempt. He looked at her guiltily. A weakling who couldn't even protect his soul mate; he never felt so low before. And now what pained him the most was the fact that his most beloved daughter hated him; he almost couldn't fight the urge to curl down and weep.

:OoOoOoO:

After the procession Kagome escaped from the palace to the garden. She gazed at the pale winter moon. Not even the moon would glow for her tonight; all that she loved defied her of what she most wanted, a company.

A small cough answered her silent plea. A beautiful man with long, wavy, black hair made his appearance known. He was tall and well built; he wore a beautiful black silk kimono with family crests designs, indicating his royal heritage. But what captured Kagome the most was his eyes; they sought her face acutely, almost hungrily; the eyes of a predator.

If she was mature in her age, she would've known what the look meant, but being a child of twelve she couldn't recognize the attention. She acknowledged it as sympathy and accepted it as such. In a room at the palace she could be strong and cold, but under the moon she had a propensity to soften and now possibly break.

The stranger tucked a stray wisp of hair away from her eyes tenderly as he said, "I would take your sorrow away if you would only shed your tears."

"No, you would tell them if I do." Kagome held her tears back defiantly.

"I, Lord Takeda Naraku, daimyo of Kai, solemnly pledge to Morikawa Kagome Hime, daughter of Lord Morikawa Shinosuke, daimyo of Owari, to not betray her of the knowledge of her mourning state in the solitary of the full moon winter night."

After he finished his little speech, Kagome dashed towards him and wept bitterly against him. He lifted her to his embrace and cradled her tenderly.

When she receded her crying, Naraku pulled a silk perfumed pouch out of his sleeve. He opened the pouch and drew its content out; it was the small opium ball he had taken from her when he pinched her nerve to hinder her suicidal act.

Kagome's eyes were glued to the small orb of the opium; anxiety slowly crept in as he held the opium close to her lips. He ran the sweet scented mold along her lips; she opened her mouth a little to welcome her fate, but the sweet taste of death never came. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw how his eyes were looking at her lips intently, and then he kissed the small opium; his tongue tasted it a little as he closed his eyes and groaned.

Kagome was frightened by his reaction, and she struggled her way out of his embrace, but he tightened his hold over her and whispered huskily against her ear. "Remember, I was the one who saved you, when the time came, I will claim you, my princess, body and soul."

He put her down lovingly on a bench and disappeared. Kagome shivered as she noticed his sudden disappearance; had she made an encounter with a demon?

:OoOoOoO:

A jealous pair of brown eyes watched the scene intently. The sixteen years old Kikyou Hime closed her hands into small fists. She was promised to the hanyou lord by her father, and now it looked like as if the whore's daughter caught his attention more. But she had already decided that she would have him. When at first only because of his power and beauty; now the feeling intensified after she had watched the little scene under the moon.

She sought out her protector the samurai Onigumo, her father most faithful retainer. In truth, she knew that his blind faith towards her father was partly because he desired her. His attention to her was almost like a sick mélange of obsession, desire, and devoted love, but like sour wine it only left a bad taste in her mouth.

She caressed him with her look, turning him putty into her hands; not that she would touch him, but still she enjoyed playing the seductress. Only a glimpse of her naked feet would turn any man feverish with desire. She whispered out her order to him slowly and huskily; she even gestured him to bend over to her so that her breath would tickle the sensitivity of his ear, and she watched as his eyes hungrily raked her exposed throat, down to the hidden skin of her mounds; she shifted her kimono unnoticeably to the side, baring the swell of one of her breasts as she emphasized her deadly order.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome had won a dangerous ally in form of a half demon and a deadly enemy in form of an evil miko hime, but as a child she only recognized the latter. But still it was enough to know that she had to be careful; the palace intrigue was a play of seduction and dirty betrayal. She knew that her life's threat came in form of a retainer fanatically obsessed with her half sister.

These were the facts that should not be known for a child in her age, but the moment her mother had unearthed her salvation in the form of sweet poison, she had lost her innocence in life. At that early stage of life she had learned that she had had to be alert and strong, so she had trained herself secretly in the art to wield a katana as a samurai. Her mind was incredibly perceptive and quick; she understood the way of the ki and how to port it into her advances. The skill of speed she possessed that exceeded the power of normal human proved a great talent as a warrior in her young age.

To carry a katana that was longer than two shaku would only hamper her movement, so she decided for a much shorter shoto instead. In shoto she discovered a weapon that she could truly master. Her first shoto was given to her by an old retainer of his father whom she affectionately addressed as Jii-chan; the feeling that she had a grandfather, a family out of bond of blood warmed her heart, and she was sick of relatives, most of them were opportunists and despised her.

Though she was masterly skilled to defend herself, she would never guess what her half sister had schemed upon her. It was the same trick Lady Sorano used against her mother.

:OoOoOoO:

Why would Kikyou Hime need Onigumo, a man's help, to carry through such actions? When she could easily order the servant to put some opium in Kagome's food, first only a little so that one wouldn't become suspicious of the effect and then to dose it increasingly in Kagome's daily dish. It was only the matter of securing one's safety. Kikyou could never trust the staffs in the house as they stood on a good term with Kaede, and as a result with Kagome as well. The attending ladies from the good houses or the concubines of her father were out of the questions, as such act was to designate that she was digging her own grave. No matter how great they showed their loyalty to her and her mother now, she knew how easily such faith maneuvered sides.

So why would one not choose the one who was most devoted, who would even take the burden on himself when the plan went wrong; such small matters as to choose your ally was the wheel of your action.

And the reason that she used opium was that Kagome would never have guessed such moves. Kagome was trained well to defend herself from any frontal attack, but as she trusted the staffs of the palace, she would never consider them to harm her.

:OoOoOoO:

At first she hadn't noticed the sleepy feeling she had often had than before; she had merely thought it had been because of the strained training she had put herself through the day.

The sleepiness was not the only thing that bothered her; her difficulty in concentrating was also another thing. Everyone else could see what was wrong with her; it was the same symptoms Lady Kohana had had when she had been on the early stage of her addiction, but nobody warned her.

The plan went perfectly well; Lady Sorano had sent Kaede away to accompany one of the concubines to return to her village, and after she was already gone, two days later Lady Sorano sent the old Jii-chan home to release him of his task as a samurai. Normally such things were done by the daimyo lord, but when one had taken a strong ally such as her as a wife, the daimyo himself couldn't restrain the practice of her authority.

The old samurai was restricted to see Kagome; he was to be sent home immediately, and to accompany him on his way was a young samurai named Suijin, an ambitious young man that was ordered to assassinate the old samurai on the way home, in which he succeeded.

Who could've warned her? The staffs of the palace? And have the great daimyo beheaded them when he found out through which way the poison found itself in Kagome's system?

Soon Lady Sorano would make an introduction of a pipe to Morikawa Kagome Hime, daughter of the Lord Morikawa Shinosuke and Lady Kohana.

:end of chapter:

Shaku: one shaku equals approximately 12 inches or 30 centimeters

Shoto: short swords, between 12-24 inches

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

AN: hope you like it; I mean I hope that someone would read this, and if you do, yes please review. I would really like to know your point of view; is this fiction worth it to be continued, or should I just drop the project?

Kizu: Inuyasha used the technique of an attack, called 'Kaze no Kizu', and Kizu means as much as scar. But what I actually referred in this fiction was Kizu translated as flaw, which is a flaw on katanas/swords (a chip, blister, crack or split).


	2. Never Lose Your Beginner's Spirit

Never Lose Your Beginner's Spirit (_Shoshin O Wasurubekarazaru Koto_) 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

A slight hush covered over the palace; people around her began to whisper; ladies of the palace hid their lips behind their fan, tilting their heads together in deep low tone of conversation. The whispering absorbed itself in the wall, in the tatami they walked upon, and in the texture of the parchment that rested on the low table. Whispers of gossips; what was to become of the hime? They watched stealthily as she was slowly falling down.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome didn't know how she found herself in this strange forest. She had never been here before; an escort had brought her there, and suddenly she found herself alone in an area that she couldn't locate. She didn't know if it was far or near her father's fortress, and the feeling of panic started to creep in, but she could still feel the heaviness in her head, so she searched for a place to hide and found herself a cave. She dropped her body to the ground and started shivering like crazy.

:OoOoOoO:

Inuyasha was back from his hunting when he smelled a sweet scent of cherry blossom and spring rain; he followed the scent closely and found that the strongest came from his cage. He growled; someone had invaded his ground as this was his forest to begin with. He wanted to kick the offender out of his cage at first, but then as he looked closely, he found that the girl was shivering; her beautiful face was pale, and she seemed to have a fever too.

He could smell something else in her blood; something sweet and addictive, but he realized that this substance had to be the one that was poisoning her slowly. He pondered hard to decide on what he should do. If he sucked her blood to remove the poison out of her system, she would die because from the lack of it. How could he make her exuding the substance out of her body? Warmth that produced sweat out of her pores! He almost congratulated himself for being so perceptive. Keh! He was not so stupid after all.

He guided the girl to sit up straight and started the process of giving his youki to her by lightly touching the tips of his fingers to her back. It was longer than he thought. It seemed that the girl was stronger than he thought she was, and he realized that she had been fed on the poison for a long time, probably already a month; that was why she was healing slowly. But she was indeed especially strong for a human to survive this; her power seemed to equal a common demon power.

She slowly came to her senses, and when she did, she realized that she was not alone anymore in the cage. Inuyasha started a fire and threw her an annoyed glance; why hadn't the girl thanked him yet? He had given half of his youki to save her. 'Ungrateful brat' he thought, but then he caught how she twitched and shook quite strongly; her mouth was opening and closing and then opened again. She tried to squeak something out but failed. She was still shaking hard; the addiction hadn't gone yet.

Kagome knew her way in ki to realize that she had been given some energy from the stranger, but when she tried to form her gratitude, her voice seemed to be trapped under the great shook of her body. She wanted something really bad, but she didn't know what.

Inuyasha was feeling a bit guilty as he watched the girl, and then he caught her twitch again. He rushed to her side and held her close. Kagome managed to whisper a shaky thank you, but Inuyasha shook his head and continued to hold her. She was not cold, he knew, but she needed something firm to hang on to, and as he tightened his grip over her, he wondered who would do such a thing to a sweet girl like her?

When her shook lessened a bit, he released his hold and proceeded to prepare the food.

He gave her a part of the roasted flesh to eat. She shook her head, but he insisted and put the greasy flesh into her hands. She looked at it and took a small bite; a wave of nausea hit her, and she ran out of the cage to empty the bitter content of her stomach. When she turned her back, she discovered that Inuyasha had waited for her, holding a bowl of fresh water. She took it gratefully.

They went back inside the cage; she sat beside him as she watched him eat.

"Are you an inu hanyou?" She asked out of the blue.

Inuyasha was taken aback; he started to look defensive. He heard this question too many times before, and it never resulted as only a question and an answer. "Yeah, so I am, you got a problem with that?"

Kagome smiled sweetly and answered him in a soft tone, though still a bit shaky. "No, I don't have any problem with you being an inu hanyou. In fact I'm rather jealous of you; you have the most wonderful hair color and the cutest ears ever. You looked really, really pretty."

Inuyasha smiled nervously. "Thanks, I guess, but you know that I'm a male inu hanyou, don't you?"

Kagome nodded vigorously and clapped her hands, excited that she got the chance to meet a dog-demon, even though only a half demon, and that they were not so vicious like others said.

"So you're a hime?" Inuyasha blurted out his question. Kagome was slightly stunned; she gave him a questioning look, and he smiled a warm small smile, reassuring her that he never had an ulterior motive to act upon her. "It was your kimono," he explained.

"Well, I'm officially a hime, I guess." He lifted his brow, questioning her meaning.

"My mother was a commoner; because of my father I came to this title, but in reality I'm unworthy of my title. I have no rights over lands or dowry to offer to a powerful ally who wishes to wed me. Because of my heritage, you see, even though I'm a hime, no daimyo would want to marry me. They wouldn't let a farmer's, and a concubine at that, daughter in the family." This she said with buoyancy, as if she had recited this many times before.

Inuyasha knew exactly how she felt, hearing her story was like hearing his own account, but the difference was that despite his background he was taken care of by his family; his life was never in danger. He frowned as he contemplated why someone would poison this girl.

Still shaking and jerking, Kagome felt suddenly drowsy, and she let sleep claim her after she turned her head to Inuyasha and smiled her thanks.

Inuyasha laid her down on her back gently and covered her with his fire rat fur kimono, providing her his warmth.

:OoOoOoO:

When Kagome woke up in the next morning, the first thing she noticed was an old sword. She unsheathed the sword carefully out of its scabbard, but when she saw the blade's condition, she was disappointed. The blade was chipped and badly cracked; there were some fatal blisters too on its surface. The blade was worthless.

Inuyasha entered the cave carrying some fruits and fresh water; he saw her looking at his blade and could see her disappointment. He smiled and walked to her.

"This blade was left for me by my father; it doesn't look promising now, but I was told that a great power is hidden in this sword."

"What kind of power?" Kagome looked at him with her big blue eyes; she was intrigued by the contemplation to hold something magical.

Inuyasha ruffled her hair and smiled kindly at her, "I don't know; I haven't gotten the chance to encounter it yet, but I think it has something to do with protection, maybe when I'm in danger someday, the sword would unsheathe itself and protect me."

Kagome studied the sword intently; she tilted her head cutely to the left and right to find something that might unbolt the sword's power. Unexpectedly she felt her body was being lifted; she looked down to find Inuyasha was carrying her.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To take a bath; you need one in order to wash the mingled sweat and poison from your skin."

She simply nodded her head. Inuyasha looked at her quizzically. "You didn't seem to be surprised over this. Did you know that you were drugged?"

She nodded again.

"But still you had let yourself drugged by those persons who meant to harm you?"

She nodded again. Inuyasha was feeling slightly exasperated. "Enlighten me on this one; why?"

"I wanted to break him."

"Who?"

"My father; I wanted to make him pay for letting my mother die. I wanted to put a curse on him and his family before I die. It doesn't matter if I should die; I'm worthless after all." Kagome stated her intent tranquilly with remote eyes, and suddenly she was surprised to find herself dumped on the ground.

"Then why should I save you?" Inuyasha asked her coldly.

"Thank you," Kagome whispered softly. "For not letting me die…" her voice weakened as she tried to hold her tears back.

"Ah… fuck… come here, brat…" She made her way into his embrace, and all along, for the longest time, she was waiting for someone to save her…

:OoOoOoO:

"My Lord, the princess was nowhere to be found."

"That couldn't be possible; she would never go beyond the border, and if she did, I would've expected that someone had escorted her." The daimyo observed his retainer cold-bloodedly. Ever since he had returned from the province Kai to sign a treaty, they had informed him of the sudden retirement of his most faithful Samurai, Higurashi Norihide, the absence of Kagome's old nanny, Kaede, and now the disappearance of his beloved daughter.

Lady Sorano had volunteered to join the search, and after four hours she came back with a piece of Kagome's kimono drenched in dry blood, but the daimyo refused to break the search. They would find her, alive.

Lady Sorano was about to oppose her husband when she heard a loud sound of voice calling them; she turned her head abruptly towards the direction of the voice, her hand trembled slightly, and her face paled under the thickly applied rice-face powder.

Lord Shinosuke dashed forward to embrace his daughter; he almost choked a sob when he got to her, and then to his surprise her daughter had returned his embrace. She was whispering words of comfort soothingly against his chest. For the first time, after a long time, he could feel again the joy of fatherhood that only Kagome could've awakened in him. Out of joy he smothered her face with paternal kisses.

Kagome stepped out of his embrace to glance at the piece of blood-drenched material that Lady Sorano was holding in her hand. She stretched out her hand to examine the piece closely, and all the while she was grinning mischievously visible only to her stepmother's gaze.

"Hime, where were you in these past two days? Your father and I were worried sick about you. Not to mention when I found this piece of your clothing in the forest, I was almost insane with worries. When you decided to take a long walk in the forest, you could've at least told us before." Lady Sorano was scolding her softly, using a gentle motherly tone.

Kagome tilted her head to the side as she answered her. "But, Sorano Gozen, I was sick before; my sickness was actually an addiction."

Lady Sorano fidgeted under Kagome's gaze.

"Kagome, what kind of sickness did you have? Why didn't someone inform me about this?" The daimyo could barely contain his anger; the messenger never mentioned such news when he was in the province Kai. How dared they keep him in darkness?

"My Lord, let me explain-." But Lady Sorano was cut off by Kagome.

"It was an addiction of nature, father. Please allow me to go out of the fortress more." Kagome stated her plea while her gaze was still on Lady Sorano, pinning her with a silent threat.

The daimyo's eyes softened when he heard his daughter's request; how could he ever deny her anything? "Very well, but only if you take an escort with you."

"Father," for the first time in her life Kagome pouted, acting like a spoiled child towards her father. Furtively she was trying to display her power over the daimyo in front of her stepmother, but the act came naturally out of her as if this was how it was supposed to be, he to love her and she to have every right for his love.

The daimyo relented, and Lady Sorano had to gulp down her defeat. She had underestimated the little whore; she was stronger than she thought she was.

When Kagome looked at her stepmother's eyes, she was slightly taken aback to find a hint of respect underneath her gaze, but the naked hatred that shone out of Lady Sorano's eyes was enough to terminate any sentiment of sympathy from Kagome.

:OoOoOoO:

"Inuyasha!" Kagome jumped from her horse at him as he caught her. Losing his balance because of her sudden pounce, he fell back, and she sat on his stomach, straddling him.

"Ow… Kagome… a less enthusiasm in your greeting would extend my life's preservation." Inuyasha whined as he rubbed his chest.

"You're a weakling." Kagome laughed at his antics as she continued to torture him. She jabbed her finger against his chest none too gently, making Inuyasha squirm under her.

"You've grown over these past two years, okay?" He almost yelled his irritation and mumbled softly, but made sure that she heard it. "And you're not exactly lighter either."

Knowing that his last comment would make her sputtering with fury, he rolled her body to her back, pinning her under him. Kagome's eyes widened in rage, and then she tried to buck him off. "Are you saying that I'm fat!"

He chuckled and nuzzled his nose against hers. "No, but you have built some muscles along these years; your body is no longer soft."

Kagome bucked him off her and started sulking. Inuyasha went to her; he was confused. "Kagome, had I said something wrong?"

"Then I guess I'm not beautiful." She answered dejectedly.

"No, you're not; you're terribly, horribly, undeniably captivating."

Her face lit itself, and she turned her head to face him, but she couldn't find him anywhere; suddenly she heard a whisper against her ear, "Kagome, train on your zanshin."

She closed her eyes and began to distinguish the atmosphere in the air. She could hear the rustle of wind on her left. She unsheathed her shoto to ward off the attack of the sheathed Tetsusaiga, but the strike she was expecting didn't come. She sharpened her senses once again to feel the coming attack; the next one was from above and then again her left, behind, until… "Oow!"

Kagome rubbed the sting of the struck on her head. "You don't have to hit so hard!" She pouted cutely; Inuyasha chuckled softly and ruffled her hair. "Come on brat, practice's not over yet."

:OoOoOoO:

A sudden aura of danger was challenging Kagome's acute sense of ki; it was coming from the east wing of the palace.

A swarm of dark powered miko was putting up a barrier on a massive door, they were chanting sutra to hold a strong demon in captive, and one of them carried with her a subduing chain of beads covered in blood. Even though one of the miko had added a sound dampening barrier on the door, Kagome could still hear an enraged roar behind the door; the sound of it sent a tremor of terror down her spine.

Lady Sorano approached the miko; one of them handed her the beads. Her stepmother smiled in satisfaction as she fingered the subduing beads. Kagome could only hear some broken fragments of the conversation as she caught the name of a certain 'Uesugi'.

Kagome blinked in surprise as it sunk on her that they could only refer to 'Uesugi Sesshoumaru'.

:end of chapter:

'Never lose your beginner's spirit' or '_Shoshin o wasurubekarazaru koto'_ is one of the precepts of a samurai (_samurai no kokoroe_)

Daimyo: feudal lord, landowner, position of power second only to the shogun

Sorano Gozen: Lady Sorano

Zanshin: ability of the samurai to sense danger, trained into him from his youth by teachers that would sneak up on him until his senses were acutely developed

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AN: Please, please do review, and I will try to write better.


	3. Chapter 3

Uesugi Sesshoumaru of Echigo

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

Sesshoumaru was never loved by his father.

He had known this ever since he had been a child, ever since his inuyoukai mother had committed hara kiri because of her shame that she was never to win her husband's love over a ningen.

Ever since he was a child, he would look coldly upon his father, penetrating his father with his gaze.

But Uesugi Inutaisho was not born as a crude youkai; he was always just and generous in ruling over his land and sweet and caring towards his women. He loved all his children, especially his hanyou son, but sadly he hated his first born. Maybe it was because of the way he looked at him ever since he was a babe, as if reminding him that he had wronged his mother, reminding him that he had betrayed his ancestor by choosing a human hime as a second wife instead of keeping her only as a mistress, reminding him that he probably wronged his first born also by weighting the consideration to make his second son his successor.

Only his first born could provoke him to do something that was unlike him.

He would only act cruel towards Sesshoumaru, and Sesshoumaru would always defy him the need to break him.

One day he put his four years of age hanyou son on top of a horse and told him to gallop like a true yari cavalier. His hanyou son happily obliged him, always ready to make his father happy. To his delight his hanyou son performed some dangerous acrobatic stunts, and Inutaisho was proud of his bravery.

And then he threw a sneering glance towards his first born, who was only ten at that time, and said jeeringly. "Now, you try it."

But Sesshoumaru wouldn't budge; two retainers of his father were needed to put him on the horse. The horse that belonged to his hanyou brother reared in protest and dislodged him.

Sesshoumaru remained on the cold ground unmoving. He was trembling. Not because he was afraid, but because he ached; why was he not loved by his father?

But his father had mistaken the motive of his tremor; his son had humiliated him in front of his retainers. He walked towards his son and began to kick him furiously, calling him a coward repeatedly in front of his men. When he saw that his son remained motionless on the dirt, not defending himself or even fighting back, Inutaisho became more agitated; he spat on his eldest son's face and left him as he took his second son's hand and ushered all the other spectators to leave.

All of his father's retainers began to leave him one by one; no one moved to help the severely injured child. But one warrior stayed; his name was Ogiwara Myouga.

The old samurai helped Sesshoumaru up and dusted him off; he patted the boy's head as he addressed him. "What patient endurance. You suspected your father's feelings, and failed on purpose. You have a deep understanding of people. Excellent." Sesshoumaru watched him silently. The retainer was right, to prove himself to be above his brother over such task was stupid and a waste of energy; his father failed to see this but the old warrior didn't. Sesshoumaru had won an ally.

:OoOoOoO:

After the ceremony of his Genpuku (coming of age), Sesshoumaru began to understand his father's arranged plan; he wanted to marry his eldest son off in order to let someone else adopted him into the family. His father wanted to deny him his right and to give it to his hanyou brother.

Some of his father's retainers were naturally unsettled by such idea; how could a hanyou lead a demon army? What would other youkai daimyo say? Such offense would only lead to an open invitation of war and risked the post of the taiyoukai as the Kanto Kanrei (Deputy of the Shogun from Kanto).

And the fact that they had gained more lands under their reign would only add the insecurity of the province.

New and old enemies were becoming stronger; threats were coming from the provinces that bordered their lands. The cause of some fights was rumored for the hegemony of the nation; the new idea was to unite the land and to finally rid of the weak shogun.

And some battles were motivated by a holy cause, as they call it, to purify the youkai from the land. Even though the idea was absurd; the warriors of this sect were strong and could be considered as a real threat for the youkai community.

Instead of taking preparations for the upcoming prevention's war, Inutaisho decided to complicate the matter further by trying to unite their family with a ningen family; he was trying to shun Sesshoumaru out of the clan by marrying him to the daughter of Hojo clan's member. It was like a slap to the whole youkai community; in a way Uesugi Inutaisho was opening the war himself.

Many of Inutaisho's vassals turned their backs on him; the shogun himself warned him of his position as Kanto Kanrei. The situation was getting out of hands; the leader wasn't to be trusted anymore of his reign.

Sesshoumaru, being the cunning strategist, let the matter take care itself; he knew that it would never come to the arranged marriage. For he himself would never allow this marriage to happen; it was something that he had sworn on his mother's grave, that he would never stoop so low to take a ningen to his bed. And that his father had suggested that he was to enter wedlock with a ningen almost made Sesshoumaru hate him, but almost…

For Sesshoumaru loved his father; even though it was bitter to receive cruel manners from his father, Sesshoumaru couldn't help to admire him for the man that he was, a just ruler to his land, a fierce general and an excellent tactician of wars.

That was why Sesshoumaru decided to only exile his father from the land when the vassals mutinied under his leading against his father. But his father had unsheathed his katana, weapon of war, before him. Such act under the roof of the castle was an unforgivable one; it could only lead to the punishment of seppuku.

But before Inutaisho was to commit the act of ritualistic suicide before his men, he asked for permission to hand Tensaiga, the Heavenly Life Fang, to his first son, and to allow him to leave his second son the Tetsusaiga, Pulverizing Steel Fang.

Although Sesshoumaru would prefer the latter fang, he consented with his father's last wish and accepted the healing sword. But when he touched the katana, he could feel all the energy of hate his father had for him. The sword didn't refuse him but it had sealed his fate. His father had put a curse upon him; one was to seal Tetsusaiga's power against him, and that Tetsusaiga only accepted the domination of his half brother. The second curse was to reveal itself when the time chanced upon it.

With eyes shone with satisfaction and pure hatred against his son, he inserted the tanto into his stomach with both hands and drew it from left to right, before finally twisting the dagger at the other side and drawing it up to the solar plexus by following the lower rib. This done; he withdrew his tanto, laid it down, then bent forward and stretched out his neck, all the while without moving a muscle of his face. The kaishaku sprang to his feet, poised his sword for a second in the air; and then there was a flash, a heavy, ugly thud, a crashing fall; with one blow the head of the youkai daimyo had been severed from his body.

Sesshoumaru watched the procession with a mixed feeling of hate, rage and love; he lifted the severed head of his father and held it before him for the last time; the blood that throbbed out of it was drenching the material of his clothing. He put the head down and exited the room in silent grief.

:OoOoOoO:

This was the era of the young taiyoukai Uesugi Sesshoumaru, the daimyo of Echigo and the Kanto Kanrei.

Although he was still young in his demon age, he had proved himself to be a fierce general of his battles, and upon reining his lands he was almost unconventionally democratic in his justice.

His reputation almost overshadowed his father's, and it had secured him of his lands; there was no one who was dimwitted enough to challenge his immortal army. Having the power to raise the dead, it had won him a new title to his name, echigo no kami.

One day two warlords from the area Shinano requested his alliance to battle against a new powerful enemy. Sesshoumaru consented to give his assistance, and that was when he encountered his most powerful rival, Takeda Naraku of Kai.

Takeda Naraku was a hanyou daimyo from the eastern part of the land. Along the years he had won many new lands to reinforce his power, and now he was moving closer to the northern part of Shinano, a piece of land almost bordered to Echigo. Naraku was famous for his tactics of wars. Never to carry his battle at his own land, he made his move by advancing the region he desired to conquer, but it was said that he never personally attended his own battle.

Takeda Naraku had many doubles; normally they were disguised under baboon mask and pelt. No one had ever personally encountered him in a battle.

Sesshoumaru, though cold and merciless, hated one thing passionately, and that was treacherous cowardice. He didn't hate Naraku in particular, he only hated him for what he stood for, a power lusted, depraved hanyou who had dishonorably obtained his title through treachery.

Sesshoumaru got his chance to battle him as Naraku marched up and onto the Kawanakajima, a stretch of flat land that was so-named as it was lapped three sides by the waters of the Sai and Chikuma rivers. Sesshoumaru responded by leading an army down from Echigo; they both fought fiercely, but the battle was inconclusive.

Their armies were to clash against each other three times but each battle always ended up inconclusive.

:OoOoOoO:

He didn't know how long he had been kept locked in this wretched room, he looked to his surrounding only to find that the movement was jerked back by chains that attached to his collar. Never before had he been so furious.

He knew that he had found himself in the Owari province. He had tracked Naraku down to this area only to find himself attacked by a group of dark powered miko, and when he fell into a state of unconsciousness, they had to have brought him here.

The chains were strong enough to hold him as they were covered with strong spells; every time he tried to liberate himself, a purifying aura would appeared and burned him.

He had taken as a captive and chained to the bed. A woman had put beads around his neck; at first they didn't hurt but they subdued him to do the things that the bitch ordered him to do.

Sesshoumaru had felt her eyes on his body and he could smell the state of her arousal. Her effect on him was revolting, just to smell her odor was nauseating, but like other ningen female she had thought that her presentation of heavy make up and strongly perfume-soaked skin would drive him wild with desire; if only they knew what demon could actually see and smell.

The woman had the audacity to try feeding him from her hand, but each time she had succeeded. He could feel a pure hatred that built inside him; he knew that he was drugged from the food. Fortunately his demon energy was refusing the substance out of his system, he was able to keep his alert sense, and that was why he was able to smell the most heavenly scent he had ever came upon. The perfume of wild cherry blossom and spring rain showered over his senses.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome had made her way stealthily into the east wing of the palace. When she got there, she found that the door was covered with spells to keep humans and demons away. Kagome didn't know much about the study of sutra and spells, but she tried to break the barrier with her own ki.

Although it had burned at first, but in the end she was able to break the barrier. She opened the door and stepped carefully inside.

What she saw inside almost broke her heart out of pity. On the bed lie the legendary Uesugi Sesshoumaru, bloodied and half naked, chained to the bed; he was in such a pitiful state that she almost wept even though she barely knew him.

She caught his shining golden eyes and was surprised to see the hatred that shone from them, but she breathed in relief; at least they hadn't broken his spirit.

She stepped closer to him, and he let out a warning growl. She held a finger against his lips, he jerked his head forward to nip it, but she didn't even flinch from the pain. Sesshoumaru looked up in surprise. He was more shocked when he found that she was giving him a warm reassuring smile.

Her body moved closer towards his, and he couldn't help but to breathe her scent in deeply. He closed his eyes in bliss; her scent was intoxicating and divine. When he opened his eyes, he found that she had successfully removed the subduing beads from his neck; his face remained expressionless but his eyes shone with gratification.

She smiled in response and drew out her shoto; his eyes went wide, and he was about to howl in rage when her blade hit the chain connecting to his steel collar, and then to the chain around his wrists and the last one around his ankles.

The blade cut through the steel easily, but he also recognized the hidden ki behind the strike; the girl was powerful.

Finally he was free. Kagome studied her shoto and was devastated to find the state of her blade; it was fatally chipped from the cut. Sesshoumaru could feel her sudden grief over her sword, he almost felt guilty.

But Kagome gulped down her misery and turned towards Sesshoumaru. "You have to make your escape quick, milord."

"Girl, you know who I am?"

She nodded vigorously and gave him a look of pure awe. Sesshoumaru almost smiled against her open admiration, but he kept his face impassive.

He studied the subduing beads in his hand and had to fight the urge to dissolve it with his toxic drips, but he decided against it and handed the girl the beads instead. She looked up at him in question.

"This is a token; if you ever in need of my service, I will repay you in any form you wish."

Kagome timidly took the beads, and that was when he noticed the breaking skin on her finger where he nipped it, he held her hand in his and brought the assaulted finger against his lips, he licked the wound to close it.

Kagome watched with a mixed feeling that she couldn't identify, for a moment she held her eyes closed, and when she opened them again, she found that he was already gone.

:OoOoOoO:

After the incident Sesshoumaru returned to his land. Although every pore of his body yelled after revenge, he held the urges back. He would leisurely plan his vengeance; the ningen bitch would excruciatingly pay.

:OoOoOoO:

One early morning Sesshoumaru went for patrol accompanied by his vassal, Ogiwara Myouga.

A sudden rush of cherry blossoms rained upon Sesshoumaru's face, covering the sight of vicinity; his sense of scent could only capture the faintly perfume of the blossoms, 'not the scent he wished for'

He turned his head towards his most trusted vassal. "I've encountered a most interesting fact."

Myouga raised his brow in question. "And what would it be?"

Sesshoumaru captured one of the blossoms in his hand; he caressed it lightly between his fingers before he scented it, holding the blossom lightly near his regal nose.

"The wild cherry blossoms's perfume from Owari."

Myouga waited in suspense, but Sesshoumaru turned and left, leaving a bedazzled Myouga, then the loyal old vassal shook his head and mumbled something about spring and a demon with his attempt of poetry.

The spring was indeed in the air.

:end of chapter:

Yari cavalry: mounted samurai, their weapons were long spears

Seppuku: ritualistic suicide

Tanto: a dagger, less than one foot in length

Kaishaku: his role was to behead the performer of seppuku as the act was completed

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AN: I know, I know, it looked like a lesson in Japan's history, but I needed to explain the background of the story. For those who might've noticed, yes I have put Takeda Shingen life's history as Sessshoumaru's. I know that this chapter is quite flat and boring, but I'll try to be better, so please bear with for a while, kay? And please do review.


	4. Chapter 4

The Sword that Kills (_Satsujen no Ken_)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

"The great Uesugi Sesshoumaru is your brother?" In shock Kagome sputtered her words.

Inuyasha looked at her sharply. "Half-brother! And why are you so surprised over this? Our features are quite similar, I'd been told, and what's the title supposed to mean?"

Kagome remembered slightly that Sesshoumaru had indeed golden eyes and silver hair like Inuyasha's, but she hadn't actually noticed other resemblances between the brothers. Now when she thought about it, to picture them together, maybe-

"Brat! You haven't answered me yet! What is so great about him?"

Kagome jerked up in surprise, she started to defend her legendary hero. "What's so great about him? Why! Haven't you ever heard about his combat skill, and not to mention his domestic skill; I heard once how my father used to talk about him; he's unconquerable in everything he did. Someone told me once that he's seven feet tall and his body's made from steel, the best they used for making the sharpest katana. It was also said that he once stared down the birds in the sky that they started to dive down for the ground in suicidal attempt."

Inuyasha smirked and then he began to laugh so hard that tears were leaking out of his eyes. Kagome stomped her foot furiously. "What? What are you laughing at?"

"He…he…he… Is that all he's good for, staring little birds down?"

Kagome gasped. "That was certainly not what I meant! I meant he was feared that- oomph!"

Inuyasha had tackled her down to the ground, and now he was straddling her victoriously; she narrowed her eyes on him and started to speak when he suddenly cut her off. "He's not that fearsome or great you know; in everyway perhaps I'm better… I was the loved one, not him." He looked at her closely; the mood was beginning to tense.

Kagome smirked. "Jealous?"

Inuyasha huffed and rolled off her. "Why should I be jealous over him? It only ticked me off that you were talking about him as if he is some god or something."

"Inuyasha, he has the power to raise the dead. _He_ is God." Kagome teased him.

"Keh! Just because he had that sword from father; people started to think of him like he is God. If he is God then the world is an apocalypse!"

Kagome stifled her giggles as she shrieked out her fake gasp of shock. "But Inuyasha! That was blasphemy!"

Inuyasha began to sputter, but when he caught her expression, he realized she was making fun of him. He tackled her again and began to attack her belly in ticklish torture.

"Stop! Stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You are the God, not him!" Inuyasha stopped his assault as he himself was breathing hard from his mirth; he dropped his head down in the crook of her neck and woofed softly.

Kagome smirked as she continued. "Well, since you are half related to him, so that would make you the weaker god?" And with her last sentence she made her escape as fast as she could.

"KA-GO-ME!"

She ran until she spotted her shoto. She examined the poor sword and started to cry; Inuyasha walked behind her and pulled her into his embrace.

"That sword really meant a lot to you, huh?" Kagome nodded through her tears. "They said that a sword is the soul of the warrior, and if it's broken then so would the soul of the owner."

Inuyasha smiled; she was really taking the bushido to the heart. He was sometimes stunned over her display of pride and bravery; the innocence that she possessed to view the world, the faith that she still had, even after all the losses she suffered. She would never know how perverse the world was. She would never understand the greedy purposes of war.

Inuyasha never felt possessive over something or someone before. All the things he needed were freedom, the air and the sun. That was why it was easy for him to refuse his half brother's offer to rein the land beside him. It was easy to leave all the comforts of excessive wealth behind. He almost even felt relief to give up his rights. He thought that this was the way of life; enemies and wars were not destined for him then life itself was immense enough to satisfy him.

That was once his principle.

But now as he held the fourteen years old, strong, yet trembling girl in his embrace, he felt a surge of possessiveness and ambition for succession he had never known before. He wanted supremacy because of her. This was wrong, he thought; such things would only mean his downfall, so he tried to quench these feelings inside. He wouldn't give up his freedom, and not even the girl's doted admiration for his brother that caused his jealousy would be enough to break his principle.

So he offered her one thing that he could only offer, comforts of console, but he knew that one day this would not be enough. An aura that was dark and disturbing was slowly gripping over their fates; someday he would have to offer her more.

The secret cave was dark and cold, but to them it was the only place on earth where they had found each other. It shielded them from the world that had cast them away. So their sun was the fireplace, and the green was the moss. In a place that was untouched by the four seasons of the year or the changing weather; in a place that was only touched by the history of times; in a place that was slowly eradicating, they had thought they were safe. But in a castle behind the mountains; a beautiful lord watched stalkingly over her; thin hands caressed the feature of her face, the line of her body, reflected from the mirror.

:OoOoOoO:

In her room Kagome had found a regally wrapped gift. She opened it carefully, still enchanted by its appearance.

Inside she found a daisho consisted of a katana and the companion sword wakizashi; the scabbards of the swords were black and lacquered, matching with the handles of the swords. On the surface of the scabbards a character of Chuu (loyalty) was written, indicating its name.

Kagome unsheathed the katana. She gasped over the delicate craftsmanship of the blade; she examined the broad elongated point of the blade, the smooth grain of the sword's steel, and the beautiful clawed line on the tempered edge of the blade. The lightness of the sword was unusual; she swung it and savored the gentle swish of the sound. The blade that was able to separate the thinness of air; she trembled when she realized that she was holding a most powerful katana ever made.

There was one package left inside the wrappings; she opened it deliberately slow. Inside was a white baboon pelt, designed as a cape with a hood; the softness of the fur was delicate to her touch, and the whiteness of it was like a new fallen snow of the winter. Who could've given her such gifts?

:OoOoOoO:

"Kagome." A deep masculine voice called out to her.

"Naraku-sama." Kagome smiled and walked up to him. She stopped at a close distance, but the hanyou closed the distance and pulled her into a light embrace.

He smiled when she tried to escape him. She was blushing furiously. Ever since their first encounter when she was twelve, he always visited the palace regularly and never missed the chance to see her.

Even though Kagome felt a little bit uneasy whenever he touched her, she had to admit that it felt good to be cared for; the hanyou always showed her deliberately his affection. When to others he had seemed so cold and detached, almost cruel, but this side of him that he had kept hidden was only there for her to feel.

Before she had the chance to flee he kissed the tip of her nose lightly but longingly, and only then would he loosen his hold.

Kagome looked at him reproachfully and walked a bit faster away from him, but he managed to overtake her with little effort and stopped in front of her.

"Kagome, did I do something to displease you?"

Kagome lifted her eyes. She felt a little bit lost. "I don't know."

Naraku stepped closer towards her; she began to back away.

"I mean; why are you being so affectionate to me, Naraku-sama? What is the meaning of your conduct?"

He caught her again, and she began to struggle her way out of his hold. "Don't you like the way I hold you? Can you not feel that I want you?" He whispered against her ear as he nibbled her tender lobe.

She gasped; a feeling of panic crept its way inside her when she felt the dangerous nearness of his body, the heat and the unwelcoming hardness of it, but he pressed her harder against him as his hands began to roam her young curves. The hands that were warm and kind a minute ago were now desperate and bruising.

Kagome shook her head desperately; the fear that was always there whenever he was with her was now stronger than before. She was afraid of the way his touches made her body feel; the way they clung to her skin; the way that they were making her feeling unclean.

"Naraku-sama! Please don't do this! I don't want to hate you…" She had whispered the magic words as she felt him jerking his hands away. He stepped abruptly away from her and smiled a bit dejectedly. "No, I wouldn't want that." He traced the curve of her jaw. Kagome tried hard not to flinch from his touch.

"Lord Naraku!" She was glad to hear her father's voice in a far distance; she gave the hanyou lord a brief nod and fled his presence.

:OoOoOoO:

"I thought we discussed this before, Naraku-sama. I'm not trading off my daughter; I have offered you my eldest, my rightful heiress of this fortress but not my Kagome." Shinosuke bit his lip when he realized that he was giving away how much he loved his second daughter.

The hanyou lord smiled coldly; he narrowed his eyes briefly when he heard the mention of Kagome as his possession. He had to remind himself that the lord was his father. So he pushed back the jealousy that was starting to crawl in.

"Lord Shinosuke, would you not want to give your daughter a better future? Or would you be contented if she is to marry a low rank retainer of yours?"

"My daughter will marry whom she would like to marry, regardless its rank. I will see that she will find her happiness." Shinosuke made his statement and gazed hard at the hanging scroll on the wall.

They were waiting for the arrival of the tea master, Murata Sei. Wabi-cha or a tea gathering was the new fancy of the lord of Owari; he believed in the power of purification of one's soul after the ceremony, and at the age of a warring state he could only find his peace in this small ritual.

The tea room was scantily decorated with only a hanging scroll and an ikebana arrangement. The lack of the decoration of the room was only to urge the participants to be more aware of the details and to be awakened to the simple beauty around them and to themselves. This and the simple style of the tea preparation was the concept of Wabi, or literally meant 'desolation', which was a philosophy of Zen that the greatest wealth was found in desolation and poverty, because one could only find the spiritual wealth inside himself when one had no attachment to materials.

A vassal was informing them of the arrival of the tea master; their disagreement was put aside for the time being.

:OoOoOoO:

Someone was entering the castle stealthily in the darkness. Kagome had sensed this aura ever since she had tried to train her senses by meditating. She had done this every night before she slept, and now something inside her was trying to warn her of the danger they were about to encounter.

She hadn't known yet that the danger was actually already awakened in that time. Warring lords were fighting over lands and power; humans fighting their wars against demons; the chaos of the era was never fully revealed to her. She understood the concept of war and to die honorably defending their lands, but that she had never seen death herself on the war fields was probably her greatest weakness, that she had never taken lives despite her skill of fighting would never really prepare her for the reality of the era.

She tried to discern the aura of the offender, and she was shocked to find that it was an aura that she knew very well; the one she held close to her heart. Why was he trying to make his way in like a thief?

Kagome gazed at the other side of the garden to find her step sister was walking toward her way; was it because of her?

Her heart hurt when she tried to imagine them together. She was already taking away everything that she had; did she have to take him too? And after all those years she had confined in him; how could he shatter her like this? He knew from the beginning the schemes Kikyou had planned against her, but he still betrayed her like this.

Rage was slowly filling her, against her step sister, against him, but she wasn't helpless now as she had been then. She reached for her wakizashi and began to make her way behind him. He suddenly sniffed the air, and she knew that he had sensed her. The moment he turned his body she mounted him, holding her unsheathed wakizashi against his neck.

Inuyasha looked at her in shock, but her eyes were clouded over as she pressed the dagger against his skin. She hissed. "Had it been anyone else but her…"

end of chapter

Bushido: the way of the warrior; the philosophy about an upright and honorable way of life.

Daisho: the pairing of katana and wakizashi blades worn by the samurai warrior.

Wakizashi: the shorter of the two swords carried by the samurai, almost identical in design to the katana.

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AN: Please read and review; I thank you, all of you. And after this chapter I'm afraid I have to up the rating.

One more thing, I forgot to mention this, but thankfully a nice reviewer (thank you, Mysticalflame) reminded me of this; Kagome is now fourteen going on fifteen.


	5. Chapter 5

Winter (_Fuyu_)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

"Had it been anyone but her…"

She choked on her sobs and rolled off him; when he tried to touch her, she slapped his hand away. He felt how the anger rose in him as well; how dared she to refuse his touch.

He started to pull her into his embrace forcefully. She kept pushing him away until they both lost their balance and fell to the ground. Still she fought him, and they began to roll on the ground. Each of them was battling over dominance; every time Inuyasha succeeded pinning her down, she would show inhuman strength and rolled him back down, but he wouldn't ease his grip. Their struggles made them aware of each other's bodies as they both started breathing hard. And when she was finally on top of him, he gripped the back of her neck and pulled her down towards him; his lips closing the small distance between them.

Gasping in shock, Kagome felt how his tongue plunged inside her mouth, forcing its way in hungrily. Inuyasha changed their position and rolled her over to her back. With his hip grinded against her soft abdomen, one hand was still holding her nape, but his other hand was free to roam over her curves. Each bruising grope left her aching for more. The heat of his hand burned against her covered skin; she felt as if he was molding her flesh to his desire, and when his thumb found her nipple, she moaned longingly against his lips.

His growing hardness was unbearable; he wanted to push into her depth and completely possessed her. The girl, who yesterday was still an adolescent in his eyes, was tempting his soul. He felt the hunger, that he might have felt before when he first saw her, pale, beautiful, and helpless, was stating its existence.

And now to touch her, to kiss her sweet warm lips, and to feel her young and firm body writhing underneath him was like the opening of the oracle. It would seal his fate; he would now want to give her the world, his world.

"Inuyasha…" She moaned his name into the stillness of the night. Again he felt the possessiveness was growing stronger; he would never allow her sweet lips form someone else's name. He tore his lips away from hers to gaze at her under the moonlight; she was everything, beauty and purity and perfection.

And youth, he mentally added as he cupped her firm breasts in his hands. Unlike other girls who would try to avert their eyes in shame, she watched him heatedly; her desire was making her blatantly fiery, and it was fanning his desire stronger than ever. He gave her clothed breasts a gentle squeeze; thumbs closing and rubbing over her nipples, and he relished her sweet whimpers.

He was straddling her still, rubbing his hardness against her soft belly; his sensitive nose breathing the sweet scent of her mixed with the perfume of her arousal oozing from her sweet center. If they were to strip out of their clothing he would loose it and pounded into her like a wild animal.

"Inuyasha!" She cried out desperately to him. He knew she needed release as much as he. He touched the rims of her kimono and delicately caressed the exposed skin with his claw when he suddenly heard a snap of a twig.

He stood up abruptly and pulled her up to him; his hands were holding her around the waist as he readied himself to leap his way out from the fortress' garden.

:OoOoOoO:

It felt as if Kagome hadn't been given a chance to think at all. One moment she had been filled with rage that had led to a homicidal attempt, and then she had found that she couldn't kill him. They had struggled on the ground of the garden; he had kissed her and groped her heatedly, and now she was abducted by him. And then she remembered that she was supposed to be mad at him. She grew cold when she thought that he was there on her father's territory to visit her step sister; he was, wasn't he?

And then she began to rethink her theory, and a surge of doubt was trying to reconstruct her sense of logic; had she really webbed her thought over his presence? Was he actually there because of her?

"Inuyasha, why did you enter the castle stealthily?"

Inuyasha was looking at her quizzically; he realized suddenly that not a while ago she was actually trying to kill him. He scratched his head in shame and confusion. He pondered over her question and decided to ask her later of her strange conduct.

"I missed your company." He answered in a soft tone of voice, and his cheeks were blushing slightly over his confession. Then he perked up. "And I have a surprise for you."

"You were there because of me?" Inuyasha nodded, confused over her question. "Of course, why else would I be there?" Kagome just smiled at him and hugged him fiercely. She blushed when she remembered what happened on her father's garden, but she could still feel the tingles his hands had caused when they had brushed all over her body.

"We're here." He whispered softly against her ear. She found herself in their cave; it was dark, and she couldn't see anything. Suddenly she felt his presence no more.

"Inuyasha?" She whispered, and when he didn't respond, she began to panic. Just when she was about to run out of the cave, a sudden swarm of light surrounded her. Small, glowing lights. The darkness of the cave and the luminosity combined produced an effect as if she was in the realm of a starry night-sky. The way the swarm flew around her as if they were little fairies teasing her; they lighted every little nook of the cave separately.

Kagome twirled her body spreading her arms wide around the cave and laughed happily, and then she spotted Inuyasha on the corner of the cave. He gave her a signal to wait and let out the rest of the swarm of the glowworms from a wooden box. Kagome clapped her hands and giggled giddily when she saw that the illumination was brighter than before.

Inuyasha laughed when he caught her reaction, and when she turned to face him, he had to catch his breath when he saw her features. Happiness was glowing radiantly from her face. Her cheeks were wonderfully flushed in striking contrast to her pale unblemished skin, and her eyes shone with their beautiful shade of unique hue. Her lips, the assessor of her body heat, was smoldering his senses with its flush. She was just beautiful, dramatically stunningly beautiful.

He rushed to seize her. Then she was his. Others might had seen her and desired her, but he had saved her, and he felt that it gave him every right to possess her even if it meant that he had to fight his brother.

That night they lay together on the ground watching the glowworms until they seemed to glow weaker, until the little creatures fell to the ground from exhaustion and died.

:OoOoOoO:

Naraku fingered the image of Kagome from the mirror of the soul. His eyes turned crimson when he saw the silver haired hanyou on her side and how they wrestled each other on the ground. And when the boy kissed her, he smelled a sudden breeze of strong acid odor; he realized that it was his blood from the claws that cut through his skin. Blood was flowing freely from his fisted hands. Something inside him constricted painfully, and as he watched him touching her as if staking claim on her, he threw back his head and let out a feral roar out of his lungs; that would be her first betrayal.

When had the hanyou lord fallen for her? Was it at the time when he saw her warming her mother's cold corpse with the desperation of a lover, caressing her mother's skin affectionately? Or was it when he glimpsed her haunted vengeful eyes as she spoke out her curse; her dramatic display of her attempted suicide? Or was it when she succumbed herself into his embrace, and for the first time he was surrounded by her sweet scent and was lost in it? He didn't remember. All he knew was when a day passed without him to have a glimpse on her image, he felt desolate, but when he did get a glimpse of her and not to be able to have her near, to touch her, to hear her voice, to fill his senses with her scent hurt unbearably, but everyday he continued to torture himself watching her.

The unrequited love of a lover was the monster inside him. Because he had fallen hard, he had lost his soul, but alas not his mind, which made it more dangerous than it seemed. He became the man without honor, treacherous to the depth.

:OoOoOoO:

Humiliation was the emotion Kikyou felt. The hanyou lord had turned her down and had demanded for the second daughter instead, but his father had added to her disgrace as he had declined the demand, as if Kagome was worthier than her.

When their plan to eliminate her had failed, it had changed their situation in the family radically. Her father decided to flaunt his affection to Kagome liberally just because she was warming towards him. The bitch was certainly cunning. But it had served its purpose; the people around her began to change their manners around her, showering her with false compliments and sickeningly false affection. But what stunned her most was the remarkable fact that her step sister knew how to see through the manipulations and conducted wisely over them.

They were all now tired planning plans to get rid of her. It was as simple as this; they had to abolish her protector first.

In the end she didn't feel any regret when she planned the daimyo's assassination, the father's murder.

:OoOoOoO:

OoOthe passing of one winter (after a year)OoO

The heavy snow had barricaded their exit outside the cave. Beside her lay the lifeless body of Inuyasha; in her hand rested his wrenched beating organ still in its freshness, but had forever given up its pounding strength.

Tonight was the night when he was to take her away. Kagome still remembered his heated whisper against her ear, the promise underneath his tone. He was going to make her his.

A claim; she always wondered what it actually meant. Weren't they together for the last three and a half year; was she not yet his? The intimate things they did in their secret cave; the way his hand worked its magic over the sensitive area of her nether part. She had ached, but he had helped her loosen it. But then again she wondered if he had not ached for her as she did for him. She remembered one night she had asked what he had meant by claiming her properly; he had answered that he would break her scent by mating her, that a part of him would embed itself deeply in her that other demons could have identified to whom she was belong, and then he would mark her a tattoo that imprinted his claim; it was a ceremony that extended her life-span. It was obviously marriage in demon's term.

A scent and a mark; how barbaric she thought, but in a way exciting. There was something deliciously primal about Inuyasha that she couldn't help but think he was in reality a beast, but when she looked into his soft eyes, all thought of estrangement banished itself from her mind. He was not delicate like the men in the court, nor was he elegant in his speech and movement; perhaps a little too hasty in his decisions, but those were flaws that she appreciated most from him. He was pure and natural; wickedness had not found its way to corrupt him yet. Let him stay that way; in the end she knew that she would be the one who had to stand guard; she who knew the way of evil.

But tonight… tonight she had failed, failed to protect him for all he was worth. She had giddily let her guard down; her mind was tiring out of its keenness. She should have seen what would happen; she should have known. And maybe she did, but there was something about promises and contend, that was slowly paralyzing the perceptive of one's brain. She was careless; her spirit was gay, and senses, which she had trained for the past three and a half years, were dulled.

And now he was dead.

She still could feel his warm embrace as he comforted her this morning. Her father, after suffering from a mysterious ailment for a whole year, had passed away in his bed this morning. Month after month priests had came and gone to chant their sutra casting away the spirit that possessed the daimyo's body, but all healing attempts availed not to his condition; an invisible hand had wrapped its grip around his soul and had taken him away.

She felt suddenly helpless; for the first time in her life she had to stand and watch as his life slowly ebbed away, wanting to help but yet restrained herself to do so. This was his karma she thought, vindicating her action. But what had he done really? Loving her mother and her faithfully? The morning before his soul departed, he turned his face to her and spoke with the last strength he could gather. Fighting his way to sanity, he had clearly called out her name, but the strength didn't last for the next sentence; he could only mouth the two words that shattered her heart to pieces. "Forgive me"

And she fell apart.

With desperation she tried to recall the old healing rite, anything to bring him back. She remembered a story that she heard once: in China a daughter, who was desperate to save her own mother, cut out a piece of her flesh and prepared it in a soup, she then presented the meal to her mother in a last attempt to save her.

But before she could do anything, the daimyo released his last breath and the soul freed itself from the body. The chanting of the priests stopped for a moment only to begin again with vigor. In panic she ran off to the one that she needed the most; the one she only had, passing the arms that was outstretched to comfort her. She barely noticed him, the hanyou daimyo, but he had waited for this moment, eager to feel her convulsed with grief body against him, cocooning her in his embrace.

But his warmth was forever disregarded.

In cold fury he realized that she was seeking comfort from the inu hanyou. He followed her trail closely and suppressed his aura so that she would not sense him.

She stomped her way in the thick intensity of whiteness. The chilliness bit through her skin; she felt raw inside as well as outside.

A few feet away from the cave's opening she could feel the warmth radiating from within, his warmth and everything that he was, everything that was hers.

She stepped closer towards him; he was sitting cross-legged in the near of the fire. When he felt her proximity he smiled softly. And when she got near, her knees felt suddenly weak and she fell down against him; she hugged him fiercely from behind, resting her frosted cheek against his hard back.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha turned to face her; confusion was written on his face. He captured her hands in his, and he winced when he felt their coldness. Immediately he opened the front of his kimono and put her icy hands inside his clothing, rubbing them against his heated skin.

All the while she watched his conduct acutely; it reminded her that she had once done this too, four years ago at her mother's deathbed, and something inside her snapped.

Inuyasha was suddenly taken aback from the sound of her broken wail. Kagome remembered once again all that she had lost, all that she had loved and lost; her grief was in tumult in her inside; the sound of her howl had pierced both their ears, but the hurt was minimal comparing to her aching soul.

Inuyasha pulled her violently in his arms as if he was trying to protect her from herself; he wanted to dispel her pain and the danger it would've done to her sanity even though he had not yet known the cause of her grief. As he buried his nose in her hair, he detected the faint reek of death in her scent; he finally grasped over the situation.

She was free, finally free; month after month he had waited to take her properly, but as long as she still had an attachment to her family, he couldn't claim her fully. Now her fate was in his hands; a delicious bliss of pleasure washed over him in waves. For a moment he had forgotten that she was in a state of mourning; all he knew was that he had to lure her away quick, giving her no time to think at all. There was no time to describe to her the splendor of the winter landscape in Echigo; he decided that he would show her instead.

And out of his lips flowed the sweetest promise of future she had never wished to hope before, but in a language of a lover his words had cleansed away the sorrowfulness of her soul. Overseeing the corruption, she decided that his aspiration was hers too.

The interaction was recorded in the mind of her unrequited lover, forever hiding in the shadow. Naraku watched acutely as Kagome made her way back to the palace possibly to collect her valuable possession to take with her for the journey.

Naraku made his way stealthily into the cave. Once he was inside, he stood still behind the oblivious to the situation hanyou. He waited until Inuyasha sensed his presence, and when Inuyasha finally did, he pushed his claws in. Breaking the skin of Inuyasha's chest and crushing the bones of the ribcage, he wrenched his heart out.

"Her." Naraku whispered to him as if justifying his own action with the single word. Incomprehensible as it might sound, Inuyasha had understood.

Tetsusaiga pulsed out his true strength a moment before Inuyasha died, startling both the murderer and the owner. But then again as Inuyasha's life faded away, the pulse was becoming weaker and weaker, and after a moment it returned to its previous state, lifeless.

:OoOoOoO:

When she entered the cave again that night, an angry color of liquid red greeted her. She saw him pale and lifeless on the ground with the dead organ lying on his side.

She stretched her body next to him, holding his heart near her heart, soaking her clothing with his blood.

In the Chinese calendar this time of the year was the coldest; it said, "We barricaded ourselves in, winter came."

:end of chapter:

AN: I actually anticipate writing the next chapter. Finally, Sesshoumaru. Missed writing about him. Hope you like the chapter; I know readers are loosing their interest reading this fiction, but please give it a try and do review. I thank you.


	6. Chapter 6

The Point of the Journey

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

In the middle of the white landscape something caught Sesshoumaru's eyes; strands of thick black hair lay spread like a fawn veiling her face.

Sesshoumaru would have walked by ignoring the human had he not caught her scent. He looked closely at her. One of his retainers nudged the girl with his foot, but suddenly he stopped in motion hearing a loud warning growl coming out of Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru picked the girl gently from the ground and wiped her wet hairs away from her face. Her features almost stopped his breath; this was not the girl he met one and a half year before. Her beauty was not fully developed when he first met her, and now this face of a sleeping angel stirred his heart gently; a bizarre urge for tenderness clouded his instinct.

Sesshoumaru checked her pulse; he could naturally hear it, but something inside him craved to touch her and feel her skin. The pulse was weak but not critical. She had fainted, he realized, not from the cold but from exhaustion; it seemed that the white baboon pelt that she wore had given her enough warmth to survive through the raw coldness.

He held her in his arms for a moment, savoring the feel of her against him, until he heard a loud cough behind him. His retainer, Ogiwara Myouga, offered to carry her, but Sesshoumaru dismissed him and carried the girl bridal style to his castle.

Somewhere along the way Kagome opened her eyes. She gazed sleepily to his face; her finger brushed over the stripes on his cheek. "When did you get those?" She murmured against his chest. Sesshoumaru was for a while puzzled over her question and her audacity to touch him; in a baffled voice he answered her anyway. "I always had them as long as I could remember."

Kagome smiled softly; she closed her eyes as she uttered the next word. "Liar…" Sesshoumaru blinked, but Kagome seemed to be in trance as she continued drowsily; this time she pointed at his red eyelids. "But it's beautiful. I didn't know that you're so vain." And she fell into a slumber once again; his gentle movements lulled her senses, and her last thought was that Inuyasha had lost his dog ears.

:OoOoOoO:

:OoO:The Dream:OoO:

Someone was calling out to her. She kept running in one direction until the path was separated into two different directions. The path on the right appeared to be mud-covered and on the left was dry. She tried to step into the left path but something was holding her back; a voice was telling her to return.

"But there are two paths to choose; why should I return?" She asked the diminishing voice.

The voice, weak and forlorn, answered her. "You're wrong, there are three directions."

"Go back." It said.

:OoO:end of the dream:OoO:

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome woke up in an empty room. She surveyed her surroundings sleepily, and then the foreignness of the place caught on her. Her senses were suddenly alert. Abruptly she made her way out the warmth of the silk padded material of the futon. The room was immense, too immense for her taste. She searched for her belongings and was relieved to find them safely placed in the corner of the room; her katana and wakizashi were set on the sword rack.

Kagome was about to reach for her swords when someone announced her appearance behind the shoji door; the attendant made her entrance and offered Kagome her assistance. Kagome was about to refuse her offer when she heard the name of Lord Uesugi Sesshoumaru was being mentioned.

She was in Echigo, she realized. She had made it through to the point of her journey. She accepted the offer of using the furo as she needed to cleanse herself properly.

After the bath she looked around to search for her clothing, but the lady in attendance had given her a new winter kosode; it was made out of padded ice blue crepe silk with Chrysanthemum pattern. She fastened the light gold obi made from satin over the kosode.

After she was dressed and her hair was brushed, she was ushered to a hall where she was told that the daimyo was waiting for her.

She waited behind the shoji door; a vassal informed Sesshoumaru of her presence, and she stepped inside the manor.

As she made her appearance, Sesshoumaru was suddenly basked in her scent; he had almost forgotten the delicacy and the purity of it.

A constant nightmare had plagued him many nights before; it played over and over again the incident which he was taken captive, subdued and helpless, but then he was freed from his imprisonment by her. As he looked up at her in gratitude; something inside his heart quivered painfully. She stroked his cheek softly; her finger traced the curve of his nose and lips as he kissed it in return, and then he felt the drops of her tears. He had expected this as he tasted its saltiness, and as her small hands wrapped around his neck, he could then distinctly hear the sudden snap. And then he woke up.

In his dreams she had killed him.

And that was why he took caution as it dawned on him how beautiful she was. Standing before him in her youth, she slowly raised her head to meet his gaze; had she meant the gesture as a seductive one she would've definitely succeeded, but it was not meant as such, and that was another reason why he should indeed be cautious.

But for a moment he let his guard down to drink in her presence. His eyes gazed over her with hidden appreciation; the way her unbounded soft and silky hair fell down her back, reaching the back of her upper thighs, the way her long eyelashes swept over beautiful smoky blue eyes, her thin and cute nose, the full pouty sweet lips that glistened rosily, the soft and creamy complexion of her skin, and the shape of her face, petite and endearing. All these combined together resulted a beauty and sweetness that only a rare human could possess; demons possessed untouchable beauties, but the beauty of humans was so desirable, yet vulnerable that one ached to touch.

He motioned her to take her seat, and she obliged taking the spot not far from him. Her small and slender body swayed gracefully. Her elegant agility was not lost on Sesshoumaru; he realized she must be a greatly skilled warrior.

"How did you find your way to Echigo?"

Kagome lifted her head; his first question was unexpected. Did he remember her at all? But she answered him anyway, biting her lip over her little attempt of lightening the situation. "I was following the swarm of the wild geese, and when I saw them fell down from the sky, that's when I knew I was entering Echigo."

Sesshoumaru mentally smiled, so the girl was no longer infatuated with him; he felt a bit disappointed at the thought. He decided to prod on her further.

"Is this Sesshoumaru less powerful in your eyes now? No longer made out of steel or seven feet tall?"

Kagome dropped her head in submissive gesture. "The great lord of Sesshoumaru is remarkable for his domestic and combat skills, and none of the folktales could ever describe his real power."

The girl was smart and diplomatic, he had to admit; she had at once won his respect. Kagome reached down into the sleeve of her kimono and drew out the submissive beads he had once given her. She lay the beads down on the tatami mat and pushed it gently to his direction; all the while she still held her gaze down.

Sesshoumaru took the beads in his hand and studied it again. He dissolved the beads with his toxic drips and nodded to the girl. "What can this Sesshoumaru do for you?"

Kagome raised her gaze to meet his and answered him directly; putting every ounce of courage she had in her voice. "I would like to offer the daimyo of Echigo my service as a samurai. Please accept me as one of milord's retainer."

And all the demon warriors in the room were taken aback. A weak ningen had offered their lord her service. At that time the profession of a samurai was also performed by women; it was common to find women as warriors in a daimyo's army, but Sesshoumaru's army was known for their intolerance against mortal humans. This was the fact that Kagome had overheard; she hadn't known the impact of her request.

Sesshoumaru inhaled sharply; his eyes glittered dangerously. Never was he so infuriated before. The girl had put him in an impossible position; if he took her offer, he would be betraying the principle of his army. And if he refused that would mean that he had broken his promise to her; it was below him to do such a thing.

Kagome was confused; didn't they take women as warriors in their army? Had she insulted them with her request?

"Fine." Sesshoumaru answered her. "I accept your offer, but before," a pause, his usual stoic face contorted into a cruel smile, "you have to prove your strength. If you should win against one of my retainer, I would position you as a first rank samurai."

Sesshoumaru was satisfied with his decision; he had no doubt that she would lose immediately and would probably die in process. It was because of her own foolishness that led to such result. He quenched down any remorse he felt at that moment; although he doubted if he would let her actually die.

Kagome's face lit itself. She hadn't a fight for quite a long time; she would prove them that she was indeed a skilled fighter.

On the other side of the shoji door, a shadow was waiting for the daimyo's consent for its entrance; the paper door slowly slid open to reveal the most beautiful female demon Kagome had ever seen. The female inuyoukai was tall and slender in her movement and gesture; she swayed her way elegantly in and gracefully bowed at Sesshoumaru. He briefly nodded back and dismissed her.

The female demon sat down in the gestured place near the daimyo. After she took her place, she gazed curiously at Kagome, and Kagome could only stare back in awe. The demon's hair caught her attention the most; it was silvery white with a hue of soft blue, and the way it fell softly down her back in its length made her want to catch the tresses and feel the silkiness between her fingers. As if the demon could read her mental wish, long slender clawed fingers smoothed the shiny hair, and she smiled seductively at Kagome.

Kagome blushed immediately, but she couldn't seem to tear her gaze away from her. Everything about the demon was fascinating to her; the beautiful pair of emerald eyes, the regal nose, perfectly curved thin lips, and her beautiful light and shiny complexion. The female demon laughed lightly over Kagome's open admiration, which only deepened Kagome's blush.

They were both startled back to reality by Sesshoumaru's light growl. Kagome dropped her head again in submissive gesture and missed the frown that marred Sesshoumaru's beautiful face, but the youkai next to him had caught the fleeting expression; she hid her smile immediately behind a fan.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, would you be as kind as to introduce this charming young woman to me?"

It was then that Sesshoumaru realized that he didn't know her name. All of a sudden something inside him yearned terribly for this little information. Was her name as sweet as she?

"Kagome, my name is Higurashi Kagome."

It was.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome felt a little guilty that she had to defy her father's name, but she wanted to start a new life, and if she was to reveal herself as the daughter of the daimyo of Owari, the matter would be more complicated. She could be accused as an infiltrator; this she could not risk. So she took the name that she always held dear, the name of his father's most loyal retainer who was lost four years ago not long after the death of her mother.

:OoOoOoO:

The fight was to take place in an open field in front of the fortress. But before, Kagome asked Sesshoumaru for a private audience. He nodded in agreement, and they stepped into a small room beside the manor.

Once sat, Kagome opened her bundle and drew out the sword Tetsusaiga. She held the sheathed sword with both hands and offered it to him.

Sesshoumaru continued to look at her coldly, but there was a change in his eyes; there was desire as well as repugnance. As she continued to present him the sword, he spoke in a remote tone. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I have passed through the mountains that connected our lands." Her head was held down. "Fighting the bitter north wind, I have only one hope to survive my journey. I sought for you, milord… You are now the righteous owner of this legacy. The last holder of the sword, Inuyasha, is dead; I believed it was his wish for you to have this sword." The words flowed out of her lips inexorably. She feared when once she stopped, she would have to choke out the words, but when she heard her tone of voice, she wondered how lifeless it seemed.

She awaited his response in anxiety; when he finally spoke, she let out the breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"Human, I hope you are as talented in the battle field as in prosing. You've wasted enough of my time." Sesshoumaru stood up and was about to exit the room when he heard a strangled cry.

Kagome, still holding the sword, was taken aback; she still couldn't believe how cold he had reacted over the news of his brother's death.

"But he is dead! Inuyasha is dead!"

Sesshoumaru answered her in a bored voice. "Yes, you mentioned it before."

"Your brother…" She mumbled half in confusion and half in astonishment. "He is your brother…"

"Correction; he was my half brother."

"I would've thought- the sword…"

"Cease your indecipherable talk, wench! I have no use for the sword, nor had the death of that useless hanyou meant anything to me. Now stand up and prove me your worthiness!" Sesshoumaru roared out his warning, but Kagome was still on the ground unmoving.

Suddenly she slumped forward dropping the sword. Her hands clenched the ground underneath her. In a soft heartbroken voice she uttered her words. "And who should mourn for him now? On the day I buried him, there was no sutra chanted to convoy his journey to the unseen world. The world would never know the loss of one of its child; they would never know how precious he was to me…"

Her voice grew stronger. "Lord Sesshoumaru, please… I have to know… you have defied his death. Had you defied his existence as well?"

Sesshoumaru responded calmly but coldly. "One ought to exist in order to be defied. I held neither love nor hate against him; he was simply nothing to me."

Kagome stood up abruptly and gripped the neckbands of his kimono. "You shared the same blood! The same man had fathered you! How could he mean nothing to you?"

Sesshoumaru pried her hands away from him ruthlessly; the force of it threw Kagome falling on her back. "He had fathered him! Only him! Refrain yourself from mentioning him! You know nothing!" He snarled out his words to her; his eyes crimsoned instantly.

Kagome looked up in shock. She started to say something, but a lump choked her words in her throat, and she began to cry. "Your brother- is dead- don't you understand? Even though you never- recognized him as your brother, but he had- as pitiful as it was, why can't you just mourn for him? He is dead-" And she cried miserably.

An unknown force clenched over Sesshoumaru's heart as he watched her cry, but his heart was moved for the wrong reason; whereas the situation demanded sympathy, he felt only petty jealousy.

So he ignored her heart-wrenching sobs viciously as he spat out his order. "Once you're finish with your weeping, woman, I would like to remind you of the test." With that he walked away.

:OoOoOoO:

As Kagome stood in the middle of the open field, she tried to empty her mind for the forthcoming fight. She took a step forward with her left foot, bending her knees a little. As she took the open position for a stance, her katana was held point down, lightly touching the ground.

She breathed slowly in, the energy around her started to whirl in the merge of her spirit and the mind-void, -and then his words jabbed into her heart '_he_ _was simply nothing to me_'

She bellowed briefly in frustration and began to charge her attack against her opponent. Moving in an unnatural speed, she swung her katana in one quick motion straight down into the skull, but her opponent managed to block her strike, yet she continued to strike relentlessly, and each slash was readily blocked.

The youkai retainer was indeed strong and fast, but she had managed to keep up with his speed. One could actually say that she was almost faster than him. But something bothered her a great deal; every time their swords clashed against each other, a barrier seemed to hold her sword in distance. The metals never met physically.

If her sword failed to break a barrier then how could she land a hit? She concentrated more on her ki; the ki was suddenly reaching deeper, and she felt how a raw energy emerged from her inside, unfurling from her abdomen.

Kagome began to pace slowly in circle as her opponent did the same. She stalked the movement of her opponent with her alert senses; her katana was once again held point down, and then she began to charge, slashing her katana aiming for his stomach, but it was blocked; only this time the metal had clashed together, and she could hear how the katana of her opponent immediately cracked from the effect.

Wasting no times, she maneuvered her cleaving to aim for the subclavian artery of the shoulder, but in a distant of mere millimeters she stopped her attack.

And the rest of the retainers were astonished. They couldn't believe that a mere human girl had defeated a powerful youkai. Her skilled swordsmanship in display had bested theirs.

Myouga made his way toward Sesshoumaru. "Milord, I don't think it would be wise to take her as your retainer."

"You have seen it too, the way she broke the barrier of the youki?"

Myouga nodded. "Yes, milord, it seemed that the girl possessed an unusual power, but still it is new and unrefined, and the danger is we wouldn't know if her power would develop as a dark power or a pure one."

:end of chapter:

Kosode: kimono

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

AN: don't forget to review, kay? Thanks.

One more thing; I owe you readers perhaps a big apology. Sorry I killed Inuyasha! I'm sad too to bring such plot to this story, but his fate was done the moment I decided on the pairing. (Perhaps I should've warned you first, but where'll be the thrill of the twist then?) And Mysty (yes, you) I'm upset when you're upset, so please don't be?


	7. Chapter 7

Never Forget to be Appreciative (_Kansha No Kimochi O Wasurenai Koto_)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

A hysteric sound broke the silence in the open field. Kagome turned to look at the youkai who had actually cheered on her; it was the angelic face female youkai who had asked for her name before.

"That was amazing!" The youkai yelled at her. Her face was flushed with excitement.

"Fujita! That's enough!" Sesshoumaru warned her.

Kagome turned to her, but the youkai already ran to her and clasped both of her hands in hers. "Where did you learn to fight like that? I've never seen human with such skilled swordsmanship before! You did really great! You didn't give him any chance to attack first or counter your attack."

"Fujita!" Sesshoumaru roared impatiently. He marched towards them and disengaged her hands from Kagome's. Kagome watched silently as he pulled the youkai's hands away from hers, and she found that her hands were now clasped by one of his. She blinked and looked up at Sesshoumaru in question.

Sesshoumaru lifted his brow and then he realized that he was still holding her hands; he let them go slowly, so as not to give the impression he had done it reflexively.

"Come with me." He gestured her to follow him back inside the castle.

:OoOoOoO:

They were once again inside the small room adjacent to the manor; he motioned her to sit down.

Sesshoumaru let out a tiring sigh as he began his speech. "It seemed we have started out our acquaintance in an unpleasant way, and that will no doubt affect the relationship between a soldier and his leader. I will not have you despise me, Kagome."

"You will see that I keep my promise; the position of the foremost rank of the samurai belongs to you. Many had to work and train hard for this position, and I had never dreamed that I would give it to a human someday." He paused; in his eyes flickered something that Kagome could only detect as an ironic amusement.

"However, you are indeed talented; with more training your skill might have over-passed the most skilled swordsman in my army, and that's why I think that you are indeed worthy of the position that I've granted you."

And suddenly in a flash of a moment he was lifting her by her neck.

"But I will not have a retainer who disobeys me. You will never again question me of my family and touch me in an offensive act. Do you understand me, retainer Higurashi?" His voice was harsh and authoritative as he added pressure into her neck.

She choked out her acquiescence. He released his grip immediately and caught her body as she sagged down.

He waited until she calmed down, and when her breath finally steadied to its normal rhythm, he loosened his hold over her a bit. She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes, but his eyes betrayed him nothing now; they returned to its previous indifferent manner. As she tried to step away from him, his hand went around her neck; his clawed fingers were gently massaging the bruises on her neck.

She winced, and Sesshoumaru discovered the break of her skin. He licked the pad of his thumb and gently rubbed the moistened pad against her wound. Strangely his gentle administration did help; she didn't feel the sting anymore.

Kagome shivered; she felt a surge of fear and excitement swirl inside her body. His changing moods puzzled her; first he was cruel and then he was being tender.

Sesshoumaru smiled mentally over her confusion. He could also smell her fear and excitement; he had not expected this blend of feelings from her. He had imagined that she would shrink away from his touch, not to give in to it. But still her compliance excited him, and something dark and perverse crept inside him.

She watched as his eyes darkened and suddenly she felt vulnerable. She wanted to go home. Here with strangers and an unpredictable dictator was not where she longed to be. She slowly disentangled herself from him, bowed and quickly made her escape.

But his hand gripped her wrist; she turned her head and looked at him questioningly. Her expression was slightly contorted, filled with panic.

"You will like Echigo, your new home." He forcefully emphasized his words, printing their meaning into her mind. It was not a welcoming suggestion, it was merely a statement.

:OoOoOoO:

The female youkai, whom Sesshoumaru had called Fujita, had listened to the whole conversation behind the door, and when Sesshoumaru exited the room, she smirked at him as she kept her pace at his side, flippantly touching his arm to stop him.

"Playing with your prey again, Sesshoumaru?" Fujita lightly asked him

Sesshoumaru growled. "Stay out of this, Fujita."

Her smirk was wider than before. With her hand still against his arm, she dropped her gaze and teasingly traced small phantom circles over his arm. "I'm just trying to warn you, Sesshoumaru-sama. I'm very jealous and do not share quite well with other kids."

Sesshoumaru ignored her and continued to walk away from her. He suddenly stopped as he warned out his next words. "And one more thing, you will stay out of her way, Fujita."

"Are you trying to warn me not to manipulate her? But she is so young and pure. Really, Sesshoumaru, can't you ask me to do something less strenuous?"

Sesshoumaru turned to face her. For a moment Fujita caught a flicker of vulnerability passing in his eyes, but as soon as it was there, it was gone in a second. Maybe it was a moment of weakness; maybe it was a warning, but she somehow now understood the significance of the situation. It was as it lay, vulnerable.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome was finding a hard time adjusting herself to the life in her new home. Demons, which she hadn't expected at all, held great resentment against humans, and they openly demonstrated their antipathy against her in anyway that was possible, and she was getting sick of that.

And this didn't seem to bother Sesshoumaru; she even thought that he might've been encouraging this as well. It was hard to be reserve and polite when she was provoked for about hundred times in a day.

The only friend she had found in the palace was the female youkai, who had suggested that they ignored all formalities and called each other by their given names without titles. Kagome had happily agreed, adding the informal suffix –san to her name as she felt that the youkai was older than her.

She tried to question Fujita her actual position in the palace, but until now the demon had managed to evade answering her elegantly. Not only she was curious, she was also slightly troubled. The intimacy that Fujita seemed to share with Sesshoumaru was actually implicating the only direction she could think of; they were lovers, or so she thought, but then again when she watched carefully she found that Sesshoumaru's manners around the youkai didn't hold the warmth in return to the emotion that Fujita was giving to him, and sometimes she would caught the strayed longing eyes of Fujita directed discreetly to Sesshoumaru as he refused to look her way coldly.

And times such as that made her think that the youkai loved the daimyo unrequited. Even though she was a bit saddened over her friend's dilemma, she also felt a bit relieved; she bit her lip when she realized how despicable that seemed to make her.

She was not supposed to like him. Not after what he had done to her on the night after the fight. Everything about the incident was just wrong and perverse, but her mind seemed to play tricks on her every time she tried to evaluate the event again; her mind seemed to be more forgiving and placatory. It was almost like self-denial; maybe it was because he was the daimyo and she was his retainer that she needed these false blanketing securities that she had built around herself. But the most frightening thought was that she might actually felt attracted to him, that she was enjoying her submission against him and his cruelty against her; just how deep could she sink?

But he hated her; she could feel that. He hated her the way his soldiers hated her. Simply because she was a human; he hated her before he ever had the chance to know her. But when she had saved him back then he hadn't seem to mind that she was human. But the fact that he despised her now, she had to admit, hurt. When she entered the hall, and some of the youkai covered their noses and muttered hatefully about the sudden stench of a human, she always watched his reaction over this. Although he always stared coldly ahead of him, but his eyes held the same contempt over her the way the soldiers expressed theirs through their demeaning actions.

Every night and every morning she scrubbed her skin raw to get rid off the vile stench they said she had. She was probably the only one who occupied the furo twice a day. In the human world she had to be the cleanest person in the country, but to the demons she reeked of dirt.

She wondered what it was that made her stubbornly stay. He had of course kept his promise, but her position was only a title to her name, nothing more and even less than it meant. But she stuck to this future she had chosen and felt how everyday her spirit was crushed little by little.

:OoOoOoO:

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome unnoticeably as she entered the hall dispirited, and the same ritual that his soldiers had taken from the first day of the beginning of her duty began to take place, affronting her.

He would then feel the anger surge inside him over his soldiers' pettiness, in which they had to lie in order to bully her, and then he caught her eyes; the wench was expecting him to do something about it. That was when he came to resent her. She was tearing him apart. One side of him was telling him to liquefy all his soldiers, and the other side of him, the side that had waged many wars side by side with his soldiers, was telling him to stick to their side.

But as the days passed he found that she was no longer expecting him to side her. She had stopped to expect anything at all. He felt as if she was more vulnerable to the cold as she used to be. As she held a strict vegetarian zen diet, she never ate meat, which made her especially susceptible to the cold. Her skin broke more easily than it was used to. And her scent was impeccable; not even demons smelled that clean; it was sanitarily clean to the point of unhealthiness.

His heart was wrenched with guilt as he could think of what reason led to her manic habit of bathing. But then again he quenched down his remorse. What had she expected from demons anyway? She had broken to their boundary to fight with them; therefore she had to have known before of demons' traits, especially the traits of his soldiers. Demons hated humans; it was just as simple as that. She had to have prepared herself before.

It never registered through his mind that Kagome had never known demons before; that those she became acquainted with was hanyous who were in love with her. She only knew the legend of demons from the folktales, description of their power, beauties, warring abilities, faithful and honorable trait as soldiers. Never was mentioned that demons despised humans.

And so he decided against helping her; he was sure that Fujita was enough for her mental support. She would have to make do. But when murmurs began to impregnate the field, he turned and found that she had fainted.

His heart clenched painfully as he made his way to her, and he remembered when he had picked her body from the snow the second time he met her; her health had been almost critical, but aside from that she had looked livelier before than she did now.

He gently carried her inside. His fingers brushed against her cold and clammy cheek; he had almost forgotten that she was a woman after giving his mental problem the name he despised, a human. And now as he held her close to him; her face not far apart from his fixed inspection; he found that he had forgotten how movingly beautiful she was.

:OoOoOoO:

Sesshoumaru refused to budge from her side. No matter how many times Fujita had promised him that she would take good care of Kagome, he silently ignored her and continued to watch Kagome at the side of her bed.

Sometime in a late afternoon he could hear a sudden commotion coming from the manor. He growled in annoyance; had he not strictly commanded his entire retainers to be quiet for the rest of the day?

Before he left the room, he brushed her temple lightly; his gaze seemed reluctant to leave her as he tore it away with effort.

"I demand to see the human girl who had humiliated my brother!" A shout broke through the commotion. Sesshoumaru had to fight the sudden urge to shush the voice, and then he realized to whom the tone belonged to as he inwardly groaned his despair.

Standing in the middle of the manor, holding her katana ready was Chisato hime, the daughter of the daimyo of Kuzo, Murakami Yoshifumi, and her brother was the retainer whom Kagome had defeated in her battle gaining the samurai position.

Sesshoumaru was about to throw the insolent youkai out when a sudden voice caught his ears.

"You wish to see me?"

This time he was annoyed at himself; why had he not sensed her before? She had apparently awakened from her slumber due to the tumult in the manor. But she supposed to go back to sleep; she was in no condition to accept a challenge.

"Human, I challenge you into a fight!" The brown hair youkai princess spun around to face Kagome

"Why? I didn't kill your brother; I didn't even hurt him. If I had humiliated him then it was his own fault that he was incapable." Kagome replied as she stood before her in youthful arrogance.

"How dare you talk to me in such fashion! Do you have any idea who I am?" Chisato unsheathed her katana while Kagome was holding nothing but her wakizashi as she was still inside the castle.

"Chisato!" Sesshoumaru snarled. "How dare you to unsheathe your weapon of war inside my fortress? Are you truly ignorant? Do you understand the consequence of your impudent act?"

The youkai princess immediately dropped her katana. Kagome winced over the careless treatment of the weapon; the girl was certainly not a fighter.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, forgive me for my behavior."

"Chisato, you will leave my castle immediately. You've acted dishonorably against your brother's defeat. This will not go unpunished." Sesshoumaru coldly warned her.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Chisato left the castle but not before she threw Kagome the most hateful glare she could muster.

:OoOoOoO:

After the uproar Sesshoumaru went and searched for Kagome, and that was when he spotted her practicing with her sword by herself. The moon illuminated her agile and elegant movement as she slashed her sword through the bamboo pieces tied together to use for practice.

"The sword is meant to cut flesh." Sesshoumaru commented coldly.

"Should I slaughter my own comrade, milord?" Kagome answered him without turning to him. She had detected his presence; a demon would have to use his acute sense of smell to feel the presence of another, but for human it was the training of the eyes, ears and awareness of the aura.

"Why are you not resting inside?"

"I can't sleep." She finally turned to face him. Her face was dark in the shadow but he could feel that her eyes weren't on him; she was gazing past him into the darkness, and her voice was tired and forlorn.

He knew this feeling of solitary all too well. Many nights this torture had kept him awake as well. So he stepped closer to her, offering her his companion. For a moment something caught his eyes; it was the unity of their shadows. He instantly jerked back, turned away, and left her.

That night his old nightmare came back to haunt him, but this time as he felt the maneuver of her wrist against his neck, he understood his placid manner over the incident. He had wished for it.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome was awakened by the feel of danger; a surge of power pulsed in the immensity of her room. For a moment she was frightened by the sheer strength of the energy, but the power also felt familiar. She pushed down her blanket and reached out for her sword, only then she realized that her nemaki was pushed aside exposing her bare left shoulder.

She covered herself immediately with the thick blanket; her eyes scanning the dark room frantically. There was nothing to be found, but she could still feel the fear, her fear. Her heartbeat pulsated fast as if it was striking its way out of her breast cage. She couldn't stop the sudden shudder that ran over her body.

Suddenly she heard rushed footsteps before her door, and she watched in terror as her door was torn open.

"Fujita-san," Kagome rushed forward and desperately clutched her arm.

"Kagome, what is it? I could smell your fear from my room, Kagome…" she paused; her voice wavered. She seemed to be embarrassed by something. Kagome looked up and found that she was trying hard not to look at her.

"Fujita?" Kagome was puzzled; for a moment she forgot that she was upset.

"Your robe…"

Kagome looked down; her nemaki was hanging open at the side, leaving her left breast nearly exposed. She wrapped the nemaki tighter around her as Fujita tried to control her blushing.

"I'm sorry about that Kagome; I got… distracted." She smiled nervously as Kagome kept looking at her with big exposed eyes. "What's been bothering you? Did you have a nightmare?"

"A ghost," Kagome whispered; her lips were trembling; her skin was pale and cold to the touch. "A ghost follows me here; something terrible is going to happen."

"Kagome," Fujita smiled kindly and patted her arm. "You just have an aftereffect from a nightmare; nothing terrible is going to happen to a sweet girl like you. And I don't think that one could actually predict things that would happen to them in the future."

"But they do happen; because terrible things always happen to me. I have no control over my own karma or the karma of others that I've cared about, and that's why I couldn't save them when they needed me the most. I have let them all down; I was becoming easy and let my guard-"

"Silence!" Fujita gripped her tightly and held her finger before her lips to shush her. Her face was grave as she searched Kagome's gaze. She led her back to the bed and forced her to lie down; when Kagome finally submitted, Fujita's fingers found their way to her hair and started to stroke it comfortingly.

"You were ranting." The youkai explained. "Tell me this, Kagome; you were certainly loved before, weren't you? I'm sure you were, then everything about you was made to be loved, your beauty, gentleness, pride, frailty-" Kagome started, but the youkai held her down. "Yes, your frailty, your mental frailty, your proneness to break seems to bring out the protective feeling out of every man, even the most indifferent and coldest one."

Fujita smiled warmly at her. "You might think that that's a bad karma indeed, to be loved and to be deprived of that love, but one day you will realize that the greatest luck in your life would be to experience those emotions at all. Some of us, especially demons, were given eternity but never to have experienced the essence of life at all. You, in your young years, were gifted with love and the tragedy of its lost. Your existence is probably the most significant from all other creatures, because you are loved."

Fujita continued to stroke her hair even after she found that she was already fallen asleep. The youkai bent her head closer towards her, stopped before Kagome's slightly exposed neck, and inhaled her essence deep; her voice was full of sorrow when she whispered to her longingly. "How could one not be in love with you?"

:end of chapter:

Furo: traditional japanese bad

Nemaki: sleeping robe

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AN: hopefully you like it. Please don't forget to review, thanks a lot!


	8. Chapter 8

Don't Be Afraid of Anything (Ikanaku Koto Ni Oite Mo Osorenai Koto)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

_**Warning: graphic gore**_

:OoO:

Every morning Sesshoumaru and his retainers would usually start their training, but after the arrival of Kagome, he began his special training with her.

Occupying the immense dojo in the east wing of the palace, he incited unfurling her inner ki. Even though her trained ki was strong, she was definitely unassailable when she got to the point where she succeeded to get through the barrier of his youki.

And Sesshoumaru planned to use her power for his purposes.

What were the purposes of the warring lords at that time? Or perhaps the purpose of Sesshoumaru? Even though his supreme abilities at warring and domesticity were well-known, his aim of warring was uneventful; to rule over Japan and to become a shogun were his father's goal, and now it was his.

He refused to admit that he actually enjoyed the battle; the smell of blood and fear appeased the massive hunger of the demon in him. To solemnly study the helplessness of his enemies was almost like an amusement to him. Domestic leading compared with his time in a battle was like a sobering bite of reality, monotonous and tiring.

That was why he had to give an ambition for his battles, because it was honorable to do so, and he wasn't just a lowly demon who would submit to his bloodlust.

:OoOoOoO:

As Kagome was passing through the manor, she overheard a conversation of two youkai samurais. Both had lower ranks than her, but they ignored her as they saw her passing by. She was used to being unnoticed by now; sometimes it would even give her the chance to listen to some of the gossips.

She paused and began to listen to their conversation; the youkai samurais were still unaware that she was listening. It seemed that they were talking about Fujita; Kagome frowned when she heard the name of her friend was being vulgarly altered.

From what she had heard Fujita was a weak youkai; she didn't have the youki like most youkai did, but her father, Naoe Nobushige, was a very powerful daimyo who had joined forces with Sesshoumaru in exchange for his daughter's protection.

Because she was weak, Fujita hadn't received a single marriage proposal from the other youkai lords. Although she was beautiful, a youkai that didn't possess any youki in her would breed worthless offspring, and the only reason that she was still given a position of a lady of the fortress was because that she was Sesshoumaru's lover.

Kagome started; suddenly she felt a surge of mixed feelings inside her, and now she could hear no more. They were snickering over the details of the things their lord did in bed with his courtesan. Kagome almost felt sick.

Suddenly she felt that someone had tapped her shoulder from behind; it was Fujita.

"Did you listen to those brutes?"

Kagome immediately laughed and waved a placating hand. "No, no, I was just passing by when I heard them talking; I wasn't even listening."

"You didn't?" Fujita smiled softly, and then her eyes darkened. "What if I told you that I had listened to their conversation and could definitely confirm that what they were saying was true?"

Kagome dropped her head. "Well, since I didn't hear them, then I could only take you on your word."

Fujita laughed bitterly. "Then I guess you should."

She started to walk in drifting-mode and dramatically swung her arms. Kagome called out to her. "Fujita-san." The female youkai stopped. "I definitely wouldn't object…"

Fujita turned to her, and Kagome continued her statement. "I certainly don't have any rights to object…"

Fujita started to speak but then she was cut off by a messenger who made his way inside the manor.

"Lady Fujita, I have a message to deliver for Lord Sesshoumaru."

As Fujita about to answer him, the two samurai stepped before her. One of them spoke in mocking submissive tone. "Lady Fujita, it would be better if we take care of the matter; Lord Sesshoumaru definitely wouldn't like to have his lady to be bothered with such trivial issue."

Fujita narrowed her eyes, and then she shrugged. "Do as you please."

The two samurai smirked; they bowed and ushered the messenger to come with them.

"Fujita-san, do you think it was wise not to inform Sesshoumaru about this?" Kagome frowned; she was sure that the samurais would keep the information to themselves.

"There would be no harm done. He's just a messenger, not a ninja; he's probably going to report about some small problems of the villagers."

"But still, can you hear them from here?"

Fujita smiled conspiratorially. "Of course, I might be weak, but I haven't lost my hearing yet." She focused herself on the sound behind the walls. "There are some shipwrecks on the coast of Echigo. They belong to the Chinese merchants; the peasants recognize them as foreigners from the clothes they wear, and now they are heading here, in the capital city of Echigo, to ask about the housing problems."

"Shipwrecks? Is it normal to have a ship stranded here in Echigo?"

"Yes it is; we had such problems before, but usually the shogun decided over such matters. I guessed the samurais were going to inform the shogun themselves; they thought that such deeds would earn them lands, stupid animals!"

Kagome didn't make a comment on her last sentence; she was lost in her thought. Even though Fujita had convinced her that such information was insignificant and common, but still, maybe it was because she was a stranger that she viewed the obvious suspiciously.

:OoOoOoO:

In the evening a ninja stepped into the castle and asked to see Sesshoumaru. After a while the Taiyoukai informed their retainers to prepare themselves to travel southward for the approaching battle.

Kagome had a mixed feeling over his decision; while the supposed stranded merchants were heading for this city, they were about to travel southward in the opposite direction. She stepped closer towards Sesshoumaru; he looked at her coldly, annoyed that he was halted.

"Milord, forgive my interruption, but I have to ask where exactly we're going and the situation of the enemy."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes; he wasn't used of being asked over something that he had made his mind about. "Very well, I think you have every right to ask me this. Fifty first-rank samurais of the hojo clans and twenty skilled ronins are heading towards Echigo; we would catch them unaware if we are to attack them at night before the border."

Kagome frowned; this was too obvious. "Milord, I supposed no one had informed you that today a messenger came to report that there are some stranded ships on the coast of the Echigo, and now the stranded passengers, they were Chinese merchants according to the peasants, were heading here."

Sesshoumaru lifted his brow, as if asking her what was so peculiar about the news.

Kagome bit her lip as she impatiently explained to him, "Milord, don't you see; ships, as more than one, and probably thousands of passengers in them. Merchant's ships and all of them are stranded here; did they take the same course, all of them?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened; he realized suddenly the trap that his enemies had designed for him. He gazed at her in awe; it had been a while since he had ever looked at anyone like that, a long while. Kagome was still holding her head down, not looking at him; she finally grew impatient and lifted her head. She immediately felt a bit faint when she saw the way he was looking at her, almost as if lovingly.

Kagome blushed; she excused herself and made her way to her room to be prepared, but he was still blocking her escape. She lifted her head and looked up at him exasperatedly; her face still flushed.

And it was then when Sesshoumaru caught her unaware. He chuckled softly. Our great cold lord had given away an expression of mirth.

:OoOoOoO:

"You don't have to come if you don't want to, Kagome. Stay here… with me." Fujita asked her pleadingly.

"My place is with my comrades in the battlefield, and if I'm to back up from this, how is that going to look on me?"

"You don't understand. You're not ready for this; I know you're not. Soldiers kill each other, Kagome, not only to defend their lives. And demons, demons kill for fun." Fujita almost shook her to bring her back into reality; she knew what the girl was thinking, and she knew how little she was prepared for the cruelty of war.

"What you yearn for is the heroism of the act of war, but in the end when you survived this, your belief will be shattered to pieces at your feet, and then will you only realize that you are in danger of losing your sanity. I beg you…" Fujita went down to her knees; her head was bowed down low.

"Fujita-san!" Kagome was surprised at the sudden extremity of her action; she quickly helped her friend up.

"What are you doing! I'm a samurai, and the battlefield is my place. I've been prepared for this for as long as I can remember." Kagome looked at her in puzzlement. She tilted her head and tried to lighten the situation as she continued. "Don't have such little faith in me; it'll bring me bad luck."

But the youkai hugged her hard. "You'll see, it'll break you…" She stroked Kagome's hair desperately, and she continued to speak as if the words were meant to soothe her. "But that's okay; when you break, I'm going to be there. No one else but me…"

:OoOoOoO:

Before they marched to the battlefield, inside the castle Sesshoumaru caught up on Kagome. In the dark alley he gripped her arm, stopping her from going.

She stared down at his hands, too mesmerized to do anything.

His hand tugged at her gently, motioning her wordlessly to turn to him, and she complied with his silent wish.

His hand went down to the waist of her armor. His nimble fingers fumbled with the cord holding her katana at her side; he changed the style of the knot of the cord and fastened it securely.

Her eyes went up to him as she smiled her gratification. He almost smile in return, but then his hand flinched away from her as if he suddenly realized what he had done.

She dropped her head disappointedly and Sesshoumaru decided that this would not do.

So, as if possessed by an invisible force, his finger caught her chin and forced her to look at him. He traced her delicate cheekbone with his claw and moved slightly forward as if to kiss her, but he stopped as his nose almost touched hers. His eyes were trying to tell her something, because now it seemed as if he was desperate and lost.

When she only knew what he was trying to articulate; eyes that spoke in place of lips and visual perception in place of sound. He was asking for her forgiveness, or more like understanding, for the things that were about to happen.

:OoOoOoO:

On the plateau that gazed upon the downside terrain a cool breeze washed upon Kagome, and she shivered from the chill. Sesshoumaru glanced at her for a moment, but he offered her no warmth, nothing to remedy her condition. His body wasn't allowing him to touch anything or anyone; adrenaline had surged into the flow of his blood. If he was to touch her now, he would kill her.

Downhill, a thousand and five hundred soldiers were marching their way towards the capital city of Echigo. They outnumbered Sesshoumaru's soldiers as he only took five hundreds of his retainers with him. But their fates were decided in a matter of a minute, because in the matter of strength and skills the human soldiers were clearly outmatched; they never stood a chance against the demon soldiers.

Kagome hadn't noticed the two samurais that had held the information from Sesshoumaru, but she caught something about disembowelment as their punishment. She shivered; she was glad that she had passed the procession.

Sesshoumaru neither sheathed his sword nor held a battle stance. Kagome looked up at him questioningly; as the leader of the army he had to unsheathe his sword first, motioning others to join him on the act.

Suddenly he gave her the cruelest expression she had never seen in someone's face before as he smiled viciously.

"I wouldn't need my sword against those humans." And he charged his way down with his claws poised on his side.

His charge had caught both Kagome and his enemies unaware, but before he reached them, he stopped, giving them the time to evaluate the situation.

And that was when the stench of the overflowing fear caught even Kagome's nose. Sesshoumaru roared in pure animalistic satisfaction. A youkai soldier near Kagome sneered at her reaction; he whispered in smugness. "That was the sign to begin the war, Higurashi, humans' fear." And one by one, his soldiers went downhill to the battlefield.

What did she expect out of war? Had she the time to explain her view of battles, they would've started to worry over her condition of sanity, the result of her secluded life.

She had imagined a battlefield and a fight one against one; something like a massive arena of fight-skill competition. And those who lost the fight were to be taken captive by those who won the battle; no lives were needed to be taken, only lands and rights.

But as she saw the flying limbs of the helpless soldiers below her, she realized the naivety of her own mind. She began to cower in fear.

Sesshoumaru was enjoying every second of the battle; his claws were sticky from blood and soiled with bits of skin, muscles and flesh. A soldier had recklessly swung his sword towards him from behind; Sesshoumaru maneuvered his body and the movement of his arm and caught the hand of the soldier without even looking at the attacker. A thump sound of falling sword and severed hand followed, but the soldier only flinched in pain; he refused to give up any sound of pain.

But pride was never registered in the battle, and though his recklessness had warmed the hearts of his comrades, his action only survived for a second until Sesshoumaru severed his head from his body.

Other thoughts, however, plagued Sesshoumaru; he hadn't caught Kagome's scent in the battle. His reddish eyes searched for her, and he found no trace of his human retainer. He followed her scent and discovered that she was still up there in the plateau, crouching and cowering in fear.

He bellowed in anger as he dashed his way towards her.

"What do you think you're doing!" He snarled at her, his hand closed around her neck as he lifted her by one hand and threw her to the battle ground below with a slight flick of movement.

Kagome braced herself for the impact of her fall. She was desperate to escape the battle, and right now heavy injury or even death was a tempting thought, but Sesshoumaru hands caught her body, breaking her fall. And as he placed her in the middle of the battle, the sound of ripped body parts and cries closed on her.

A samurai advanced towards her with his katana poised, but she only blocked his charge with her sword still in the scabbard. One of Sesshoumaru's soldiers tore the samurai apart.

And as the battle surrounding her was absorbed into every sense of her humanity, the more anesthetized she became.

And she could only watched, silently and perversely fascinated as Sesshoumaru's face contorted with satisfaction as he maneuvered his claws in the stomach of one samurai and slowly pulled out his claws, exposing what was left hanging between his digits. Sesshoumaru, going to another samurai and with one swipe of one finger and his razor-thin claw, disemboweled the samurai's head from his body. Sesshoumaru, inhaling deep the stench of fear of one young samurai who was probably younger than her, relished his cry as he slowly, as to prolong the torture, drew a deep cut from the head to the groin of the young soldier; blood spurted in a thin line of burst, and he lustfully tasted the fresh liquid that stained his lips.

Her eyes were now only a mere sight-consuming tool; she did not feel nor handle. The only fact that she could grasp in her sense of haziness,

This was Sesshoumaru in war.

:end of chapter:

Ronin: samurai who owes loyalty to no superior, an unemployed samurai for hire.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**AN:**

Hi,

To be fair to you readers I have to tell you that I actually already wrote this story up until chapter 12 and had already published it too on other sites. The last time I updated this story was actually a year ago, and then as life caught up on me and work began to take its toll on me as well, the story went on hiatus for almost a year. In this one year's pause I still kept my contact with the internet world though, and I must say that each time I opened my mailbox, I felt also guilty for not writing any updates.

Well, one day I came upon a post on a forum site; maybe if someone else had read it then the post would not seem to them like a flame at all, but as I read it, I could feel… maybe it would be too overdramatic if I describe the feeling as heartbreak, but it was certainly close to that. In the post it was said that there was a theory as to why my fiction was half bad and half good, and this theory stated that I had taken maybe excerpts from other stories and compacted them into my story, in other words a collective plagiarism. I had never received any flames before, and people, who are rude to me, I don't consider as flamers but simply as ignorant nobodies, that's why this post attacked me the hardest because it was not rudely written. But the writer of this post knew nothing about me; how could this person disregard my imagination so as to the point of accusing me of being a plagiarizer?

It was disgracing to me that people had read this post, and I couldn't even defend myself as the site was already expired.

And now what I'm trying to do is only to edit this fiction and try to write some parts over.

As to this person's opinion as to why my fiction was partly good and partly bad written, I could only explain that the bad parts were parts that weren't as inspirational as the good one. But I am not a plagiarizer.

And one more thing to add to this note is that I'm not an english native speaker -as the writer of the post had also assumed; yes, you're right if it makes you happy that I admit it-, but is that a problem? Should I not write anything in English because I don't speak it on daily basis? Now I'm not even going to that discussion about the freedom of writing, and shame on you to point out this fact only to bring the story down.

As to the statement that the post's writer said about Sesshoumaru and Kagome pairing is weird because it's OOC, let me just say that there is no dogma made by Takahashi Rumiko, who truly knows what their characters are, that says how the borrowed characters should conduct themselves. Talking about OOC, do we even truly know what the accurate OC is? Giving reviews and opinions about characters just to say they are OC/OOC is absurd. You think them OC because you approve of them.

The point of this author's note is -if the person, who wrote the post, read this; actually it's to all you flamers or moody complainants out there- be careful of what you wrote out of mood; if such post was meant to shoot my self-confidence down, well congratulations to you that you had succeeded, but one day when you experience the same thing you did to me, you'll know why it's better not to mix your petty grudges to your diction and then destruct someone publicly with it.


	9. Chapter 9

Don't Make an Enemy of Yourself (Mizu Kara Teki O Tsukuranai Koto) 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

:OoO:

They were standing on the battle ground. Kagome gazed at the soiled battle field. Corpses that were brutally shred apart, bloody limbs that were still twitching from the sudden laceration, blood that covered the armor like sprayed scarlet coloration; the mass of it was such a great immensity in volume that it was unreal.

She felt suddenly a glare coming from a distance near her; she looked up slowly to find the blazing eyes of Sesshoumaru that was directed openly at her.

The other samurais snickered in satisfaction; they had all thought that she was unassailable and fearless in battle, but now she had proved to them that she was a coward, a failure of a soldier.

Sesshoumaru slowly stalked his way towards her, but a ninja, appearing from nowhere, made his appearance.

"Milord, the seventy samurais were taken captive; should we proceed with their execution?"

Sesshoumaru held up his hand; his gaze was still focusing on Kagome. "Not yet, bring them to my fortress."

"Milord?" The ninja looked up at him curiously.

"Did you not hear my order, retainer?" Sesshoumaru questioned him threateningly.

"Yes, milord. Forgive me for questioning your order." The ninja bowed and disappeared from the area.

"We're going back to the fortress." Sesshoumaru bellowed his order to his samurais.

:OoOoOoO:

Back in the fortress Kagome saw the seventy samurais that were tied collectively in the field. Their faces betrayed them not a single expression, and their eyes were empty.

And then a soft voice called out to her. Kagome's face almost crumbled with smile from her relief to see Fujita, but a warning growl that was coming from Sesshoumaru held her friend back from her action.

Kagome looked pleadingly at her, and Fujita started to go to her, but one glare from Sesshoumaru stopped Fujita from going to her and killed any protestation that came from the gentle youkai.

A high stool was placed on the far end of the field, and Sesshoumaru took his place calmly and authoritatively.

Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome acutely; his eyes narrowed in displeasure. For the first time the great Taiyoukai showed an expression, and that it was an expression of irritation frightened his soldiers more.

Kagome was trembling under his gaze. The act of cowardice in the battle would surely result a seppuku for her; he certainly would demand that she committed an act of suicide in front of the whole army. It was only fair. She was never prepared for the real battle; that she was supposed to terminate a life as a soldier never crossed her mind. She was taught to fight but never to kill. And now, now as a samurai she had shown a dishonorable conduct, disobeying her lord and left others to kill for her.

The act of seppuku never crossed Sesshoumaru's mind; he wanted to punish her, but punishment in the act of suicide wasn't exactly what's on his mind. She was too talented as a swordsman; her mind was too perceptive in tactics that she was too precious to obligate death upon herself. But the punishment that he had in mind for her was far worst than the act of suicide; it would be better if he was to demand her death.

"Behead them. The seventy samurais, I want you to be the executioner." That was his order, short and said with clipped, hard tone.

A violent murmur could be heard from his soldiers; some of them in displeasure that they would be betrayed of their bloodlust. But one voice rose in anger that Kagome should be punished like this. Fujita quickly stepped forward; as she was about to state her objection, Sesshoumaru sent her one of his deathliest glares.

Kagome stood in the field, numbed; her terror was so great that she began to tremble. She shook her head in negation.

Suddenly she felt that someone had struck her hard; the blow threw her against a tree, but she still shook her head in denial.

Sesshoumaru wasn't one to lose his temper, but when he saw that she was about to disobey him, he lost it. He never meant to strike her; he had never even struck one of his soldiers. If they disobeyed him, he would simply kill them, and that would be the end of it.

He walked slowly towards her. Kagome could feel the anger that radiated from his body. She was about to weep out in fear as Sesshoumaru pulled her up to him; his deathly voice hissed against her ear. "I would never take a coward to be my soldier; if you dare to disobey me, then I would grant you a life as a camp whore."

Kagome jerked back in fear; her hand went into the hilt of her sword, ready to perform his order.

Sesshoumaru went back to his seat; and one by one, soldiers were brought to him to be executed. He had never granted his captives their lives before; the trial was to cruelly taunt their hopes. In reining his land he might be just and generous for his standard, but in war he was ruthless.

"Samurai Hirai Sadamitsu, the second rank's soldier of the hojo clans, the son of-,"

"Behead him," Sesshoumaru ordered.

Kagome poised her sword for a second in the air; holding it with both hands, she swung it towards the junction that adjoined the neck and the body and drew a precise and clean cut of his head. It fell heavy on the ground. With one blow the head had been severed from the body; the blood was spurting in a fine line against her face and her hair, which was now loose.

"Samurai Urabe no Jutaro, the-,"

"Behead him."

Kagome could feel how her own sword was encouraging its master for each struck; its bloodlust was finally fed, but it could also feel its master's numbness, so the sword began to take over; it led her instead of her the sword.

But Sesshoumaru, the devil he was, could sense it. Each time she lost herself, he would strike her hard, bringing her back to reality; she would do this in full conscience, he decided.

Fujita could only watch in horror throughout the punishment; she would never thought that the Taiyoukai would be capable to act upon such cruelty. What was she thinking when her father told her that this man was worthy of their lands? Sesshoumaru's sense of justice was famous among the youkai ruler, and in this war they had decided to unite their lands under his leading; it had seemed to be the only way to win the war. He could hear once again Sesshoumaru's warning on the day her father offered him his service. "In the time of war, leaders act differently than in the time of peace. The principle to rein a land is humanity and justice, but to lead an army the military virtue is opportunity and flexibility." But was to be opportune meant one had to be evil? She now understood everything that had ever been coming from him was each a promise how much crueler he could become.

After the execution was over, Sesshoumaru sniffed the air to identify the sudden change of scent; he could smell the building of arousal coming from his blood lusted demon soldiers. They were watching acutely the beautiful samurai woman who was drenched in blood. Sesshoumaru could feel how his anger began to build again. This time he couldn't detect the source; when he could, then he would notice his own building arousal too.

Kagome stood still in the middle of the field; her sword was still raised above her head even though the execution was over. She stared numbly at the blood saturated ground underneath her; the bodies and the heads were taken away to be burn, but in her mind she could still see them altogether, offering her their napes.

She was startled to find herself alone in the field with her vicious leader. Sesshoumaru had telepathically dismissed his other soldiers, and now she found herself face to face with him.

Sesshoumaru gripped her chin and whispered softly. "You are now a true samurai; you have learned to kill, and now you are the best warrior under my leading."

He had hoped that his words would appease her despair and gain her prided satisfaction, but he received none of that.

He had played with her mental states; whatever reason for his sudden change of act against her, she would never cease to hate him.

Haunted eyes turned to him. Suddenly a struck of wind caught them unaware. Her long hair was blown in every direction of the wind; her face was open for him to see; even though it was marred with lines of dry blood, one couldn't deny her beauty, her dramatic heart-stopping beauty, but her eyes were vengeful and full with hatred. He felt a sudden shuddering chill not coming from the wind.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome found herself back in her chamber; as she rested her head against the wooden wall, she felt a sudden crack on her face. A piece of dry blood fell over her clothing. She looked down to find more dry blood on her armor. She could smell the tangy earthly scent coming from them; blood that belonged to humans, sons in war that she had killed.

She made her way to the furo; she peeled off her clothing from her body and discarded the tainted material away.

She sat down on a low stool and began to scrub her skin hard; lathering her hair with water and soap, she rubbed her scalp forcefully, sometimes scooping a handful of hot water from the wooden bucket to splash against her skin. Every time she finished scrubbing her body, she would then start again. After the fifth times she had done this she stepped into the flowery fragranced hot water in the tub.

Who had put this scent in the water? As if someone had known that she would need this. She was probably the only one who had access for this furo ever since she was put in this wing of the palace.

After an hour of bathing, she stepped away from the water and began to dry herself. She slipped into her white night robe and caught her image on the water-surface in the bucket; she was once again a child with a pink face and white teeth, not blackened like most women in her age. She could see the adolescent gazing back at her from the water.

She made her way back to her chamber. Once inside she lay down on her back and pulled the padded silk-blanket all the way to her chin.

She stared fixedly at the ceiling above her; her vacant mind was trying to escape from the reality of her action.

After an hour she felt a presence behind the door. A solemn voice called out to her. "Kagome… Sesshoumaru-sama asked me to summon you to the victory-banquet… Kagome?"

Kagome remained silent; she was still staring fixedly at the ceiling.

"Kagome, you have to come; otherwise… otherwise he would come personally to your chamber and dragged you out to the banquet. Regardless if you're underdressed or not; please, Kagome…"

"I'm coming." Kagome answered her in a weak voice.

"I'll wait here until you're ready to come out of your room." Fujita rested her back against the wooden wall; her head was held down as she slowly sunk into the ground. She smiled sadly as she whispered inaudibly. "I told you so, didn't I?"

:OoOoOoO:

The banquet was held in the main hall of the palace. As Kagome entered the immense room, she was ushered to a place on the left side of the room.

The demons soldiers quieted down immediately; some of them hid their smirk behind their cup, but some also showed their displeasure over her appearance openly.

And then something inside Kagome began to war; she could take their behavior so much. She remembered then in the battlefield how they had torn out the limbs of her own race with relish. She had believed in comradeship and was presented nothing but discrimination and hatred. From her leader she had expected justice, but she received nothing but cruelty and false sidedness.

So she turned to speak to Sesshoumaru. Her head was held up proud; she no longer felt that she had to be submissive before her master.

He gazed back at her; his eyes were betraying nothing. She studied her arm quietly, and after a moment she lifted her gaze back up to meet his.

"I wonder if demons have veins too. Does blood run through your vein, Lord Sesshoumaru?" she held out her arm towards him and showed him the blue line of her vein.

"Do you see this? This is what's running through us humans; this is what kept us warm; this fed upon our emotions, sympathy. The rush and flowing of this line are what made us feel." She cut deep the skin of her arm, and blood flowed strongly from her limb. Everyone looked in aghast as they watched her sliced her own skin with the wakizashi.

"But to demons it was merely a vessel of liquids. Please explain this to me; if we are such filth in your eyes then why does the smell of our blood drive you mad with lust?" She gathered the flowing blood into her finger.

Suddenly she spattered the red liquid to a youkai retainer near her; her blood stained his surprised face, and then she began to laugh over his reaction. Her laughter grew louder until her eyes were teary.

She laughed and laughed; even as Sesshoumaru advanced towards her, she made no moves to escape him and continued to laugh in mirth. Sesshoumaru pressed his finger to the side of her neck, sending her into a sweet subliminal submission.

:OoOoOoO:

Kagome woke up in her chamber; her hand was carefully bandaged.

She closed her eyes once more; her face was pale from her loss of blood.

Suddenly Fujita recited a line,

"_With refined beauty and the allure of innocence, such sweet soul dying sad so young_"

"My mother," Kagome suddenly spoke.

"Kagome?" Fujita asked softly.

"The line was meant for my mother, '_dying sad so young_'; the poet had arranged these words for her."

"These are the words of a Chinese verse; it's about a young and most-loved concubine of the emperor, and the line is already six hundred years old." Fujita contradicted her tenderly.

Kagome chuckled softly. "He even lied to me about that."

"Who had lied to you?"

"My father."

Fujita whispered into her ear. "Sesshoumaru-sama is here and he wanted to talk to you."

Kagome continued to close her eyes.

Fujita left the room and let Sesshoumaru step inside the chamber.

"Your father had lied to you?" She didn't answer him. He sighed heavily.

"My father never even cared to lie to me; if his honesty was brutal to my ears then he would cruelly prod further on the matter. All that I had learned from him was taunts and punishment."

Still she refused to answer him even after he had bared his heart before her. He began to feel angered over her tranquility.

"Must I explain to you the function of battle?" Sesshoumaru gripped her shoulder painfully; he shook her roughly, and suddenly his voice was weakened with desperation. "How could you not know this? Were you not experienced in war, that soldiers kill enemies?" He looked at her pleadingly.

She shook her head and started to helplessly exude in a fit of weeping.

Sesshoumaru gathered her in his arms and stroked her hair. "Oh god… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… how could I allow this to happen? Tell me, how could I not know?" He whispered against her hair; Kagome gagged her sobs in his clothing.

"Stupid, stupid child…" Sesshoumaru admonished her exasperatedly as he rocked her body to and fro.

:end of chapter:

_**AN:**_

**Lithiumrose'sNeko:** that was very sweet of you, and the fact that you like the title kizu delighted me. There comes a time when you question everything you did in life as I did recently in mine. Every little thing that might seem insignificant to me at first became greater in merit, and I realize that I only deemed them insignificant because they are in truth significant. What I'm trying to formulate is that when my story was truly weighed and noted and callously judged, I then too began to doubt its quality. And I ask myself why the hell I am doing this when I have enough works as it is. But you answered that question. That you enjoyed the story is the thread, to which I'm trying to hold on to continue writing. So thank you; from the bottom of my heart I thank you.

**Countess De Eqlipse:** One thing is for sure; you are fiery (in a very good way). I don't know how to express how much I thank you. Your words truly warmed my heart. Sometimes I don't understand the concept of OC, especially when one wrote in canon universe/original genre fanfiction how the story should flow or end in their opinion, creating situations where the character committed actions that weren't executed in the anime/manga; isn't that the base of OOC-ness? You see; I do like to rant as well. Thank you for standing up to me and for loving this story.

**Missy:** I do truly appreciate your faith in me. It's actually quite ironic to me when I wrote that; I was then in a time when I didn't have to prove anything, but now I must even defend my story of being my own. I can't understand sometimes why people criticize callously, and most of the criticizers are in fact authors as well; shouldn't they actually be more sensitive? Probably not. Anyway, I want to thank you for the nice compliment on my language skill and your encouragement. Thank you for everything.

**emerelddreams:** Thank you for your wonderful review and encouraging words. And for loving this story, you are loved in return.

**Cathy:** thank you for the wonderful review and for being so nice. And to your question, it's German.

**I want to thank you all so much for reviewing.**

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